Sunday, 8 April 2007

It doesn't always make sense...

Diabetes is a fiddly thing. I keep wanting to be 'on top of it' but I don't think it will ever actually happen.

This morning for example - I started with my usual routine. I test when I get up. I know I have dawn phenomenon so I have one unit of insulin to battle the impending BG rise. Normally that keeps me around the same number as when I get up. If I'm anywhere over 6, I have a little extra to battle DP *and* drop me down a little before I start breakfast.

This morning I woke at 7.3. In my mind that's too high to start with, as I'll be way out of target range once I eat. OK... Grab insulin. 2u in the system. Mental note to keep an eye on my BG this morning in case I fall faster than expected. Think of something low carb to munch for breakfast later. Go have a cup of tea in the sun. No worries.

Nearly an hour later, when I should have at least started dropping a little, I test again: 7.7 - huh? I've gone UP - only a tiny bit, but why? Pffft. Well I'm starving, so I have another 1.5u and grab just 2 bits of thinly sliced luncheon meat and stick an apple in my handbag for later. Lantus time, done.

An hour after that - shite, really should test again, I've gone and stacked my insulin doses without carbs to speak of, I must be dropping like a stone by now! Grab tester... wait, wait, wait... 8.5 WTF? There's no way that Luncheon could have sent my numbers climbing, it was tiny and it's not exactly full of carb. And so far I've had 3.5u of Novorapid to cover almost nothing (Might not sound like much to you, but 3.5u covers a decent meal for me). Dammit, I want my apple! So one more unit of NR goes into my thigh as I quietly grumble about the unfairness of diabetes.

WHY can't it be more predictable? D would be easier to handle if it was just the endless maths, endless jabs, endless testing. But it has to be different depending on what way you hold your tongue when you test, or which side you slept on last nite? BAH!

I can only blame my low last night, I guess. I munched chocolate before bed - oh c'mon it's Easter - and I jabbed carefully for it because I can't stand overnight hypos (only had 3 previously, and they scare me). But at 3:33am I wake up to use the loo and find myself wobbling along the hallway. I climb back into bed, knowing I should test, but just wanting to stretch out and snore my morning away. All I can think of is the alarm clock reading 3:33am. Is it a sign? What does it mean? What if I turn it upside down? It'd say EE:E! Or I could hold it sideways, and it'd say M:MM! Realising that I'm having STUPID thoughts, I reach for my tester. The waiting game, as I try not to fall asleep ... 2.8 - eek. I munch some smarties (eww - they're horrible once you discover M&Ms!) and chew my way through a pineapple lump. The urge to sleep takes over and I wander into noddy land with lolly bits stuck in my teeth.

Maybe I didn't eat enough last night... maybe I stayed low and my liver kicked the glucose into my system? Maybe I overdid it and am still suffering now, 8 hours later? Maybe some alien several light years away pressed the wrong button and accidentally dropped icing sugar into my veins? Who knows?! Either way, it's now 11am and I still haven't had my breakfast and I'm starting to get grumpy, as I always do if I'm over 8 for any length of time. Blergh.

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