Post deleted - too depressing & whiney and that's just not what I want here!
But I'll leave this bit:
You know what really made my day? I discovered videojug and most importantly, tips on how to use the toilet. You'll thank me for it later, I'm sure.
I'd hate to think that some of you found the link ever-so-handy and here's me deleting it. Oh no, that'll never do.
And if you read the post before I snipped it, you'll be pleased to know I'm having lots of fun hand-washing all my clothes today, and causing no floods lol.