Being 'M'

WDD - In my little finger

2009-11-14T02:58:00.004+13:00

World diabetes day... here in New Zealand we're already 3 hours in. What will it mean to me here? Not a lot, other than the little bit of noise I'll make about it I probably wont see or hear anything else here. I will see a lot of action on the net though (You guys rock!).

Anyway, it's always my diabetes day. Diabetes is a part of me, in my head space, in the bruises on my injection sites, in my handbag, in my routine, even in my little finger. The hard part is sharing any of that with other people, and even harder is finding someone who understands or wants to understand.

But I think WDD is a good thing - as is any moment that concentrates on doing something good for diabetics. Whether it's some major thing today, or some tiny thing you do any day - if it educates even just a few people; helps someone get diagnosed; helps someone understand their diabetic partner; or encourages someone to search for a cure, all those things make a big difference.

It's the butterfly effect, baby :D

So today's a good day to speak up a little! Light a spark of interest in someone and see where it goes :)

Dear blogtastic blogerific blog-angels

2009-11-12T23:28:00.005+13:00

Help!

I know I've been a blog snob - no posts for ages, almost a dead blog, blah blah.

Thing is, I have something going that I just don't understand. Maybe you can help?

I control my diabetes well, I have A1cs to be proud of - around the low 6s normally, without a single serious low or grossly crazy high, ever. (Serious = requiring hospital or anyone else's help). I mostly eat carefully but I allow myself whatever I want along with careful calculations and extra testing. This has always worked for me and led to pretty darned good control for someone with a crapped-out pancreas.

However... my last couple of A1cs have been higher; 6.7 and 6.6. No big deal, you might think, but it's a big difference when you consider than my 6.2 comes from sitting pretty between 3.5 and 8 90% of the time. My latest 6.6 comes from swinging randomly between 1 and 19. NOT nice.

Normally I can look at trends or think back on what I've done and see what's happening - right now I'm stumped. Nothing has changed to cause this weirdness. I have no lumps on my injection spots. I change my injection spots all the time and have a lot to choose from. I don't seem to need to change my Lantus dose (which I take evenly split at 12 hour intervals) - and if I did surely my BGs would either be high OR low, not a wild mix of both.

So people, what's going on? Cure me over the net, will ya?!

I suspect some sort of illness. In fact I was really sure I had thyroid problems - I can tick of just about every box in a list of symptoms (and my mother has hyperthyroidism just to add to my chances). However my TSH came back normal at 1.5. So I'm stuck with a fast heartbeat, endless thirst & hunger, crazy anxiety, insomnia, etc... and nothing to blame it all on.

I had an appointment with my endo today that wasn't exactly satisfying but I'm going back in a while, at which point I get to borrow a CGMS for a week, that almost makes it all worthwhile! I've said for years I'd almost be willing to kill for a CGMS ;) Such a tease to only get a week with it but at least I get to play :) Lets hope it can show me something I've missed.

Feeling Judged

2009-04-09T17:14:00.003+12:00

I turned up at my Aunts place the other day just as friends of hers were leaving. They'd had cakes for afternoon tea and left a lot behind, which were offered to my son & me. I said no thanks, and my Aunt said "She can't, she's diabetic". (cringe).
Everyone nods their heads in pity. Then she continues "But she eats sweet stuff anyway" in THAT tone of voice that says I'm doing something naughty. Everyone nods their heads and tut tuts and says things like "what a shame".

I want to scream and tell them it's ok. I want to make them all sit down and take a lecture on what being diabetic really is. I want to explain that I'm just working my pancreas manually and that I can eat what I like when I like, so long as I'm jabbing along with it & keeping a good eye on the numbers. But my mouth hangs open and nothing comes out as they leave the house none the wiser.

Hurumph.

I've been looking after my Nana a bit lately, because her usual carer - my Aunt - is recovering from an operation. Today I was out doing Nana's groceries and ran into my old Diabetes Education Nurse. I couldn't help but notice that she looked into my trolley, and cringed a little. I didn't click 'til she walked away that I was there with a trolley full of the most un-diabetes-friendly goodies (white bread, chocolate cake, etc). I just wish I'd slipped into conversation that I was doing my Nana's shopping and that only the fruit & veg was mine!

Of course, it doesn't matter at all what anyone else thinks.
*I* know I have great control for someone with a pooped-out pancreas.
*I* know that I wouldn't eat white bread but that I could if I wanted to. And I can eat chocolate and cake and whatever else, too.
*I* know that I'm careful, and haven't yet had any signs of complications, and that my A1cs are always in the low 6s...
But no matter how hard I try no one else will understand.

I'd really love someone to give me a pat on the back some day instead of a raised eyebrow and ignorant comments!

Dreaming of a CGMS

2009-01-16T11:49:00.002+13:00

Here in little old New Zealand a diabetic with a CGMS is a very rare thing. The few that are in the country were very expensive (with no funding at all from anywhere). But here I am, as a New Zealander with her finger on the pulse of the rest of the diabetic world, hearing about the every day use of CGMS as if it's perfectly normal and not a rare foreign thing!

I dream of having a CGMS. People around me want a new house, a Wii, a new car... and I really would be happy with a bloomin' CGMS!

I do ok without one, I test a lot, jab a lot, try to keep things on the level, but wow, wouldn't a CGMS be SO much easier?

So I'm saving up. This will take ages and be hard work but I *neeeeed* that thing so bad! I've even printed a picture out to put on my wall to help keep me motivated. This is one dream that I will make a reality... somehow!

Yippee Skippeeeeee

2008-12-17T01:22:00.003+13:00

I've...

Lost...

(my mind... and...)
3 kilos!

Ahhhhh it feels good to finally be on the right track :)

It's amazing what a little concentration on the D control can do. Everything else falls into place. Well, almost everything else... but I feel healthier already. Here's to the next 3kg!

Holy bleeep

2008-11-22T02:55:00.003+13:00

If I ever needed proof that blood sugars rocket with stress, I've certainly had it tonight!
I've just seen the very worst BG result ever in my days as a diagnosed diabetic. I vaguely recall hitting numbers like this many years back when I was just starting out, but ever since then? Not a chance.
*gasp*

Y'see... someone from my past wandered back into my life today. It wasn't at all horrible, we just chatted but I knew I was a bit stressed. And yeh I even thought it would knock my blood sugars up a bit but I took a lot of extra insulin to compensate. I didn't test, I was doing one of those stupid stupid things... too scared to see the result, so I planned to test later just in case I overdid the correction. (Why oh why do I do that? It's never sensible in hindsight!)

That was a really really bad idea. I wish I was testing every hour tonight so I could have stayed on top of this.

You should have seen the look on my face when I read the meter. And then when I retested and it said almost exactly the same thing. I couldn't believe it. I could have slapped my meter when it suggested I should test for ketones. I've *never* seen that before.

Ok.. shocking... thankfully it will all be over in a couple of hours and I remember tonight as a lesson in testing regularly!

I think it's ok for me to avoid looking at my 7, 14 and 30 day averages for a while though... boy are they going to be out of whack!

I think I'm slightly in shock after that reading. Woah!

Filling in the gaps

2008-11-17T01:25:00.003+13:00

Wow, it's been a long time.
I still think of things to write, yet somehow I never quite get around to writing them. Instead I'm actually spending much less time on the computer and getting out in the fresh air. I have a veggie garden I'm very proud of. Probably losing some of the flat-ness in my butt too ;)

I'm kicking off with a meme here, not entirely exciting huh! But at least I'm saying *something*... and hopefully it wont take me so long to say something else!

The one word meme:

1. Where is your cell phone? Porch
2. Your significant other? None
3. Your Hair? Uneven
4. Your Skin? Tanning
5. Your mother? Wonderful
6. Your favourite thing? Garden
7. Your dream last night? *shrug*
8. Your favourite drink? Water
9. Your dream/goal? Sustainable
10. The room you're in? Bedroom
11. Your ex? Friend
12. Your fear? Ignorance
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here
14.Where were you last night? Sister's
15.What you're not? Stupid
16.Muffins? Chocolate
17.One of your wish list items? CGMS
18.Where you grew up? Wellington
19.The last thing you did? DVD
20.What are you wearing? Jeans
21.Your TV? Off
22.Your pets? Lots
23. Your computer? Good
24. Your life? Sweeeeeet
25. Your mood? Happy
26. Missing someone? No
27. Your car? Reliable
28. Something you're not wearing? Shoes
29. Favourite Store? Market
30. Your summer? Beach!
31. Like someone? No
32. Your favourite color? lots
33. When is the last time you laughed? Afternoon
34. Last time you cried? History
35. Who will respond to this? *shrug*
36. Who's Answers are you anxious to see? Seen!

An Engineer's Guide to Cats

2008-09-11T21:50:00.000+12:00

The kitties, 7 months on

2008-09-01T00:15:00.003+12:00

For those of you who have been following the kittens life story from birth til now... it's time for an update.

They had heaps of fun today in the garden. It's the first time they've ever seen the soaker hose going, and they thought it was great fun. I thought cats weren't meant to like water!

Check out Pumpkin's ambush and Taco & Noodle's kisses to the camera.

The spring buzz

2008-08-31T14:06:00.007+12:00

The sun is out... the air is warm... the garden is going mad!
It's the last day of winter. Bring on Spring!

Spring bulbs... gorgeous :)

Baby broccoli.
Baby Spaghetti Squash. I didn't even know we could get them in New Zealand until I found the seeds.
Veggie garden number one is growing strong. Number two is still mostly bare dirt.

The spring buzz gets me big time. I love the long days, the sunshine on my skin, and the beautiful plants in the garden.

Not to mention losing my extra few kilos of winter weight, getting out for walks on the beach, and being surrounded by other people with the spring buzz! This is a fannnnntastic time of year :)

It's all gone wonky!

2008-08-31T00:57:00.003+12:00

It's late evening, I'm checking my blood sugar knowing it's a little high... only to find it's a LOT high, 15.2mmol (270). I just don't see numbers like this any more *gasp*.

It's the middle of the night. I'm feeling ok but a little hungry and desperate for the loo. I always test if I wake up during the night - just as well: 1.4mmol (25)! Yikes. I just don't see numbers that low.. ever! Argh!

It's morning. I'm stuffed, that low really broke my sleep and took away all my energy for today. I suspect I'll be a little high, probably overdid the munchies to correct that low. Testing... Argh! not THAT high, surely! *scream*

It's mid afternoon. Knowing I'm still just a little high I decide to mow lawns to work some of it off. I'm feeling a little odd. Better pop inside and test the blood sugar while I have a little break. Holy crap, not THAT low... 1.8... ok, that's my day totally pooped. This roller coaster stuff really takes it out of me *sigh*

My numbers are normally pretty good. I aim to stay between 4 and 7 most of the day - naturally it fluctuates (I mean, duh, this is diabetes...) but I do quite well. I only manage diabetes so well because I test lots and because I am motivated to work with the results. It's the only way for me to feel I have control enough to live a normal life. It works - I've never once conked out, never had any real diabetes related trouble of any kind.

But now.. ouch. Today's lows were scary. The scariest part being that I was still acting and feeling pretty normal. But I was so worn out from it that I slept most of the afternoon and had to cancel my plans.

What's happened? ME, that's what. I've been testing less, I've been eating more crap, I've been guessing my doses and my numbers. In a nutshell: avoiding diabetes.

I do believe I've been taught an important lesson here! Back to testing lots, that's what works for me. I never intended to slip out of it, it just faded slowly, but trust me there'll be nothing slow about getting my control back!

*kicks own butt*

So, how DO you confuse an idiot?

2008-08-29T01:05:00.003+12:00

I apologise in advance for any confusion!!
But I just *had* to post it!

You DORK!!

2008-08-27T21:48:00.005+12:00

Just the other day I was talking about taking insulin for granted.
Even then, while I was raving about the wonders of my life-juice and nattering about how we shouldn't take it for granted... I was being a total dork and taking it for granted.

Last week I got a new script. I took my time with it, but finally took it to the chemist on Monday, and told him I'd come back to pick it up on Wednesday. I always have to give him a day or two warning because he never has my stuff in stock (that's another story!).

So Tuesday night rolls around and I feel like supper. I reach for my insulin... 0 units left. Not even one, not even half - zero units left.

How's that for cutting it fine? No supper for me (I'd just BAKED for gawd's sake). NO breakfast this morning until I'd gone all sleepy-eyed down to the chemist either. I don't think I've ever shown my face at the shops in such a mess before - my hair was grotty, my clothes were thrown together, my eyes were barely open... but I stood there with my hand out begging for my Novorapid and then slunk out pretty quick to go home and have a piece of toast.

I do count myself lucky that I had just the right amount for dinner last night and that I managed the night without needing a correction. But man oh man am I kicking myself for not getting my prescription earlier! I *always* have spares in the fridge. I *always* get my prescription well before I need it - now it seems Insulin and I have reached that point in our relationship where we take each other for granted. Doh.

I shall now return to my old ways of keeping one step ahead and treating my insulin as the liquid gold that it is!

Mental note: take your own advice, dork. DUH.

Revenge of the Killer Carbs... they're out to get you!

2008-08-26T02:34:00.005+12:00

I think it's pretty well known by now that the more carbs we eat the more we want to eat. There is an addictive quality to those evil (nice!) horrible (yummy!) carbs (bastards!). I'd always thought this was an insulin reaction (in everyone, not just diabetics) but apparently there's more to it.

Dr Zane Andrews of Monash University (Australia) says "The more carbs and sugars you eat, the more your appetite-control cells are damaged, and potentially you consume more"

Don't ask me why he says Carbs and sugars when sugars are carbs...

But the article is well worth a read. Check it out here.
Your food is watching you! (image from evil mad scientist with instructions for making your own edible googly eyes - coool!)

Getting all gooey

2008-08-25T01:45:00.005+12:00

Diabetes has always come with a little emotion. From "Omg, me? Diabetes? Really?" to "Yeh whatever, get over it, life goes on"... then "eek I'm low" and "eeeeek I'm high" and "I just don't want to think about diabetes today!" etc.

But other than those typical emotional moments, I'm pretty flat really. New insulins? Whatever. Another possible cure reported? Yeh, whatever - spare me the tease.

One thing that keeps popping up for me though, is the mention of Banting & Best themselves. Oh boy do I feel a little emotion when I think about these two fabulous men who discovered my life juice!

Diabetes is just something I have - life goes on. I deal with it just fine. I have my moments, of course! But mostly it's no biggie. But what if Insulin was never discovered? I'd be gone by now. I'd have left my son behind, and my friends & family. I'd have spent a short time a bit ill, then very ill, then in a coma, then dead.

Dismal, yes but it just reminds me that I take my insulin for granted. I think it's good that I manage to shelve diabetes and carry on with my life - but I can't forget to appreciate my life, and remember the brilliance that is Insulin.

I'm SO lucky to be experiencing my life, seeing the things I see and doing the things I do. Sometimes just making a cup of tea is a miracle!

This is the web site that brought on my feelings tonight: The Banting Homestead Some day, when I have the time and the cash, I'm going to visit this place and kiss the ground!

The world is just awesome

2008-08-13T20:22:00.003+12:00

Isn't the world a fantastic place?

Love the sing-a-long feel to that ad :) Maybe everyone in America has already seen this, but it's new to me.

New Zealand's ads are not so nice & fluffy... more like this:

Anyway, it IS an awesome world we live in, and I'm learning to appreciate it and look after it more. I've always been pretty careful with things like recycling but I'm moving on a step from here. I've given up using shampoo & conditioner (replaced with a Baking soda wash and an Apple Cider Vinegar rinse). I'm recycling more than ever before. I'm composting big time, and I've started a vegetable garden so we can have some real fresh spray-free home grown veggies (YUM).

I'm learning about solar cooking (why did I never think of that before?) and about edible wild plants. I'm saving electricity and learning new ways to do things manually. And loving every moment!

So that's it folks - it seems I've gone hippy on you!

Bugger?!

Every-bloomin'-time!

2008-07-27T02:36:00.004+12:00

Yes folks.. a1c time is coming.

And up until last week I had *fannnnntastic* control. I was soooo heading for that a1c in the 5s. Proud as punch, was I, knowing I had a great hold on things.

But we know diabetes much better than that, don't we...

Last week things went belly up. Lows here & there, highs there & here. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll still have a decent result, but I know that the last few weeks have the strongest influence on the a1c so I wont hold my breath.

Now, really, does it matter? *I* know that I have had great control. *I* Know that this is just a small hormonal hiccup thanks to early menopause, and a little to do with being inactive (it's winter after all - and the weather really stinks), and a little to do with the fact that I've had my favourite chocolates to much on... and they're hard to stop munching *blush*. I know that it'll all settle down in a few days. I know I can get control again and make it all better.

But I'll still be a little bummed if 2 and a half months of great control is wiped out with a week & a bit of crappy control.

I can't even do the usual trick of delaying the blood test (shhh!) - I have to have it done next week without fail because the results are needed for an appointment with my Endo and yet another appointment with my doctor. But that's ok...

It's all OK, it's just a pain in the butt!

I've been trying to get a result in the 5.5 - 5.9 range for what seems like forever (in reality it's about a year or a bit longer). This was gunna be it!

Crossed fingers, maybe I can get back into this smooth sailing thing again, perhaps it's just time for a little adjustment. Either way, I know it's no biggie - I'm already doing quite well in the low 6s, but boy would it be great to see a 5. *sigh*

And wouldn't it be nice if just for once my numbers didn't go mad for the few weeks just before an a1c test? It's a conspiracy, I tell ya!

UPDATE: The results are in - and even with the crappy numbers over the last few weeks I managed a 6.3. Sweet - though I still have a plan to reach the high 5s without hassle - without extra lows. In other words, tight-as control! I have the knowledge, I have the ability, but I also have carb cravings lol. (Pass the chocolate will ya?)

Little meows and BIG meows =^..^=

2008-07-22T19:24:00.009+12:00

Little meows:
Our little (HAH!) cat family has grown. The kitties' dad now lives with us full time.
He's been visiting for a very long time, and I always wondered if he had a home - he seemed to be outside all day every and didn't look like he was fed regularly.

A couple of days ago the poor lad was hurt, it looked like he had a broken leg so we took him to the vet. Thankfully it wasn't broken, but he needs some rest and some pills for a few days. The vet thinks he's homeless and needs to stay with us, so that was all the arm twisting I needed!

Even if it does mean we now have 7 cats. *gasp*

The mad cat lady strikes again.

Here are 5 of them soaking up some sun on my bed (you even get to hear my kiwi accent on this one, I forgot to mute it!):

Big meows:
You may need to have tissues in reach when you watch this...

*sniffle* is that fantastic or what?!
.

A visit to my future

2008-07-19T03:37:00.000+12:00

I've been thinking lately about how I've changed. Where I was 5 or ten years ago, where I am now... and where I'll be in another 5 or 10 years.

Tonight I stumbled upon an old post of mine on Tudiabetes, where I said:

Ever heard of an older diabetic with complications saying they wished they'd look after themselves better? I've seen that a lot. I'd like to be the one that says 'I'm glad I looked after myself' while I'm sitting out on my rocking chair, enjoying the sun on my feet, on my 99th birthday.

I never once heard a diabetic say "I wish I let it all go and didn't worry about complications, carbs are better than keeping my feet/kidneys/eyes"

I'd love to think that I will be sitting out in the sun on my 99th birthday, having done a good job of looking after myself, and surviving with all my body intact. I'm still in one piece so far. Only another 66 years to go! I'll report back then!

What I'm wondering now is, what kind of life will there be in 66 years?
In 10 years, even?
What's happening with the price of gas, and the gas putting up the price of food and other things?
How is this going to affect our futures?
Will we, as diabetics, be damaged by all this?

In these circles (diabetes blogs & forums that I follow) I haven't seen any mention of what's happening to the world at the moment, and what's going to happen. The whole Peak Oil thing. Are you familiar with the idea? Putting it simply in my own words: We all need to re-learn those old-fashioned ideas - become more self sufficient, grow our own vegetables, learn a survival craft and live off goods from our own communities, etc, because the lack of available oil and the sheer price of what we have left is going to make even the basics hard to afford, if we can get them at all.

It's depressing, really, but it seems to be a plain fact. Unless someone comes up with a really great replacement for oil - one that not only can run vehicles of all shapes & sizes but can also be used in all the other ways oil & petroleum are used, then we're a fair bit stuffed.

Who'd have known we rely on oil for so much in our every day lives? I didn't. What I don't know is how this will effect me as a diabetic. Will my insulin double in price since it has to travel from another country? Same with my test strips / meter / glucagon / pens & needles? I might be safe from this regardless, seeing as the government pay for my medical supplies (ah, how I love New Zealand). But I may not be.

What if the world went truly belly-up? What if I couldn't get insulin at all? What if only the strong will survive? I'd be pooped. However, this is extreme thinking and I don't believe this is going to happen - it's just a paranoid thought. I'd be one of the fastest to fall off the planet if it ever came down to survival of the fittest.

So I'm putting this out there and wondering what you all think. Are you aware of 'Peak Oil'? Where do you see yourself in 5 years - and have you considered the lack of gas, the price of gas, the availability of all things that aren't made locally, and the outrageous prices we might see in anything that needs to travel to get to you? Do you worry about the availability of your insulin and other things necessary to our survival?

I don't plan to spend the rest of my days worrying, (hell no - live for today!) but I do think it's worthwhile considering options and perhaps stocking up a little, just in case. If I'm prepared, then I have little to fret over.

Then again, knowing me (Procrastination is my middle name) I wont do much about this until it's a little too late.
*sigh*

nom nom nom

2008-07-04T01:54:00.004+12:00

If I ever get a pump
...which is really very unlikely...
I shall name it:
COOKIE MONSTER.
And it will certainly help me eat lots of cookies :D

Seems to me one of the hardest things about getting a pump is finding a good name! So I'm half way there.
Now to come up with many thousands of dollars to actually buy the thing.
Hmmmph.

Bath time for kitties

2008-07-04T01:19:00.002+12:00

The kittens are nearly 6 months old and still totally adorable.
And still here!
I don't have the heart to give any of them away. So we're still a 6 cat family. Which I really do love, right up until it's time to buy the cat food - oh how my wallet complains. Next week Noodle (mum cat) and the three kittens are going to the vets for (da da da DAAA) the snip. *cringe*

Here are the twins showing some sibling love :)

I don't think I'd have ever done that for MY sister.

I can BREATHE!

2008-06-27T03:24:00.004+12:00

I've dabbled in going gluten-free for quite some time. I know I needed to get serious about it - gluten has obviously slowed me down for years. Nothing major though, otherwise I would have done this properly a long time ago!

It's been obvious to me for a while now that eating foods that contain gluten leaves me with stuffed up sinuses. However, I knew I could get away with a little bit, so my diet was adjusted slightly - limited gluten. Just one piece of bread a day, and maybe some baking or whatever if I felt like it. I also didn't care about the little things - like malt added to stuff, or anything that had wheat as an afterthought.

4 days now I've gone without any obvious gluten at all. NO bread, no baking, nothing that contains anything other than a trace of the stuff. I've even bought a gluten-free bread to have with my new gluten-free marmite and baked a great (if I do say so myself) GF chocolate cake (my own recipe, and I'm very proud *puffs out chest*) and finally found GF cereal that I can crunch up for making my chocolate afghan biscuits. *drool*I so should have done this a long time ago! I can breathe! My sinuses are so clear it's fantastic. And I feel more awake, which is a real surprise seeing as I've had hardly any sleep all week (and urr, it's 3:29am, guess I'm not getting much sleep tonight either). I'm full of energy, I can think better, I just feel... light. Light and free.

Who'd have thunk it?

Well, me, actually, coz I've known I've needed this for years. Funny how we come up with all sorts of excuses to avoid things ("I can start this properly next week", "Gluten doesn't *really* effect me, it's all in my head", "I'm ok so long as I limit it", "this gluten-free thing is just a silly fad", etc)

Sure it's a bummer being gluten intolerant - but as usual, that's nothing compared to going on for years never knowing what the problem is.

And all this in only 4 gluten-free days. Fan-bloomin-tastic :)

Purrrrrfect

2008-06-27T00:09:00.002+12:00

I get up in the morning to find the dishes done.
He's quiet, he's polite, and he's offering to keep an eye on kiddo if I want to go out.
He's planning to move the rest of the firewood this weekend.
He takes off his shoes at the door and walks quietly
He's glad that we recycle and compost and he wants to help in the garden.
No wacky-backy or alcohol!

I've found the perfect boarder.

...it only took three months! *gasp*

Three months of advertising, living on almost nothing, freaking out at any wastage lest we can't afford the basics next week, stressing over the idea that we'd have to move if no one turned up, meeting some odd potential boarders (and hating turning them down, scared I wouldn't find anyone better).

WOOHOOO! It's over!

I haven't even told him about my diabetes yet - which I really must do, in case something goes stupidly wrong. To date I've never had a big bad hypo, or any hypo that I couldn't control, but I hate to assume it'll always be that way. So, I'll have to spit it out eventually. (If he hasn't already noticed the insulin & glucagon in the fridge!)

I've never had a problem telling people about diabetes (well, those who need to know and are likely to understand). But it was only a few weeks ago that I had another guy lined up to be our boarder. This one was only *slightly* weird compared to the others (and even that was only because he wore a bright and holey hand-knitted jumper and looked like he hadn't combed his hair in a week or so)... so I said yes. He was keen - very keen, he loved the room! I was so relieved that it would all be over.

We sat and discussed dates and all the fiddly little details. We even discussed my diabetes and my son's ADHD... which I had no problem with, but apparently he did. I sent him a txt the next day. He replied that he was no longer interested.

Totally his problem if he has an issue with diabetes or ADHD. I know that. But it didn't stop me feeling a little wound up for a few days.

Speaking of purrrrrfect... check out how much my babies have grown up. 4 months old now! They've grown so much

Taco (look at those eyes!)

Rigatoni (begging for a belly rub)

Pumpkin (loves to steal my hot water bottle as soon as I put it down)

A packet of barbecue flavoured rice crackers.

2008-06-01T01:51:00.001+12:00

Me. A cold night. A game of Spira-Defense. A packet of barbecue flavoured rice crackers.
A high carb snack - yes, but since I'm only having a few, and it adds up to less than 20g carb, I'm not bothered.
Lets see... 21g carb per serving, 4 servings in a pack, so if I have less than a quarter of a pack I'm having less than 21g carb, right?
In which case, the 3u I take to cover it should be just a little bit too much, especially as I started at 5.3 (nice!), right?

Sooooo why is it that I end up over 10mmol a couple of hours after eating these, having already taken a 1u correction dose?

You'd think - well ok, I'd think - that eating so little carb, and overdoing the insulin (even if it is only by about half a unit) and starting at a great place, AND jabbing early to give the insulin a head start - that's about perfect, isn't it? Should end up on the low side and then - yay - I could enjoy 1 or 2 squares of yummy caramello chocolate before bed.

But alas... no choccy for me tonight. (Everybody say awww)

So, does the packet lie?
Are rice cracker carbs different to other carbs (!)
Did I get my dose wrong, run out of insulin in the pen, inject an air bubble, or maybe miss my leg and inject my chair?!?! Nope.

When something so simple goes wrong once I can understand it - there's always a reason, even if I don't know what it is - no worries, move along, fuhgeddaboutit. But when the same thing happens with the same snack two nights in a row there's something weird going on. I have learnt already that rice crackers are pretty evil to my blood sugars, but surely they can't be THAT evil? The only other explanation I can think of is that the packet is lying about how much carb is involved. But then, it admits to being 84% carb and you really can't get much higher than that without eating pure sugar. Even if it was a little bit higher, the difference would be small when it came to my dosing, especially when eating such a small amount.

So this leaves me confused... here I am trying to be a good girl and have *ahem* healthier snacks (as in gluten free, not low carb, obviously) and it just aint working. I think I'll go back to nuts & apples... and chocolate ;)

Does anyone else have trouble with rice crackers? Or is there some other food that gets you confuzzled?

Reason number 157 NOT to do the housework:

2008-05-15T18:16:00.004+12:00

The washing basket is needed for more important things.

A good find, and a favour to ask you...

2008-05-02T01:23:00.010+12:00

Have you ever had an insulin pen that STINKS? Stale horrible old insulin - phhoooeey! Well my favourite pen, my Novopen demi, somehow got itself into that state even though it's my newest pen - probably only about a year old - and even though I cleaned it fairly regularly. (Twice a year is regular! It might not be often enough, but it sure is regular! Yes I know I said I've only owned it a year. So I've cleaned it twice. Tell me you've cleaned yours more, go on, lie to me!).

*ahem*

A few months ago I started pulling it apart to clean it every few days, I just couldn't get rid of that pong.

I soaked it in dishwashing liquid, I sat it in boiling hot water, I left it all sitting open for days with no cartridge in it in the hope that fresh air would help. I stared at it and willed it to de-stink itself, but nothing worked.

So I started using my old novopen (not a demi) and ohh it was nice to be away from that horrid stink, but I very much missed my half units and soon learnt that for me good control NEEDS half units. And so I had to go back to stinky-pen. Ugh.

It almost smelled fresh again by the time I put a new insulin cartridge in - but right when I thought things were going good I made the move of putting my nose right up to the lid. PHHHHOOARR! *holds nose*. This will never do!

So I got desperate. When I couldn't find the email for my diabetes ed nurse (to beg for a new pen), I thought I may as well try everything I can think of. I was about to try soaking it in bleach, spraying it with kitchen cleaner, burying it in the sand or whatever other plan I could invent.

But then I found The Answer: Simple-as. Soak it in hot water with a little white vinegar added.

Simple things are always the best :) For a few hours I had a pen with a whiff of vinegar, but that faded fast. And now I have a fresh smelling, fresh looking, fresh feeling (Ohh, there's a commercial in that lol) Demi pen. YAY. I can go back to being embarrassed of injecting holes in myself in front of people, instead of being embarrassed of the smell that wafts out when I pull that little beasty out of my portable pancreas.

Such a small thing, but such a big sigh of relief!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

And on another note... I have a favour to ask of the diabetes O.C:

*flutters eyelashes*

Now, Darrrrlinks, could you possibly, please, perhaps, have a look at all the links you have going on the sides of your blogs or blog roll pages, and kill off some dead ones / update the changed ones?

Coz M here is a chronic blog surfer and loves to just go through from one blog to the next using another person's links. But as time passes it's getting harder & harder to do because there are so many messages that say "this blog page doesn't exist" and so many sites that haven't had a fresh post since February 1912... I keep hitting dead ends!

*pulls the puppy dog eyed begging look*

Please, favourite bloggers in the whole wide world, could you do that for me?

*big cheesy grin* I'll luv ya forever-n-ever, really :D

-----------------------------------------------------------------

On yet another note - I owe you all a post on the failure that was my Diabetes Education dinner in honour of Type 1 diabetes day. I *tried* to raise my voice. But... Ears have to be turned on for that to work with any success. *sigh*. More on that some other day when I'm over the emotional side of it! (It seems that 2 weeks is NOT enough time to lose the disgust you have for your own family's lack of interest & knowledge).

Hurumph.
.

Pretty piccies

2008-04-26T23:21:00.004+12:00

We've had some of the most gorgeous sunsets in the last few weeks - here's some photos I took tonight (and if you click you end up on my Picasa page with plenty more local sunset pics - it seems I'm now a sunset-o-holic!)

..

Take a moment... watch this... what a woman.

2008-04-26T12:27:00.005+12:00

Had to share this video with you... it's amazing. This woman, a brain scientist (Neuroanatomist) analyses her own stroke as it happens. She tells us what it's like, and what she learnt from it. She tells a fabulous story.

Regardless of your interest in brains / strokes / videos or whatever, I'd recommend taking a few minutes out of your day for this one. She's fantastic.

...
Well, they give you all the tools to embed the video but it doesn't seem to work... if it doesn't load for you, watch direct on the site at Ted.com
There's some sort of scripting issue that doesn't like firefox. I wouldn't normally tell you this, but (*choke*) it's worth running up IE for this.

A day in the life of a Type 1 Diabetic - my raised voice

2008-04-15T11:52:00.007+12:00

Most readers here know just what it's like to be a type 1 diabetic. But in the spirit of Raise Your Voice day, I'm doing 'A day in the life of M'

3am: wake up desperate for the toilet, which always means I'm low. Test when I return: 2.4mmol (43 mg/dl). Icky. Eat a couple of Mentos in bed and fall asleep feeling totally trashed. Mentos are great for lows - they work really fast so I always use them if I'm under 3mmol or any time I need a fast BG rise.

8am: wake up again, with fuzzy teeth. I gave up brushing my teeth after overnight munchies a long time ago, but it always feels gross in the morning! No wonder diabetics are known to have tooth problems :p BG steady at 8mmol now - a little high but that's what late night lolly munching does to ya. Take a little insulin, fall back to sleep coz I'm still trashed from last night's low.

9.30: wake up yet again! This time, properly. Test: 4.7mmol (perfect!). Take Lantus (my background insulin, it has nothing to do with what I eat or drink). Take my morning Novorapid (fast acting insulin to cover meals), enough to cover the fact that my blood sugar rises in the morning until I eat, and enough to cover breakfast too. Stumble around the house feeling half asleep for a while.

10am: Having finished my first cup of tea for the day I start making eggs on toast. For some reason I always make something like eggs on days when I eat late... maybe it makes me feel better to call it brunch so I don't feel like such a lazy-arse :p Breakfast goes down the hatch and I'm still struggling to wake up. Late night plus overnight low = rough morning.

noon: Test: 4.1, just a little too low to be going on with, so I have a little bite of chocolate cake to avoid the impending low. Yummmmm.

1pm: Don't really feel like lunch, so just keeping an eye on my blood sugar to make sure I'm not dropping any lower. Turns out I get another bite of cake (just a teeny bit!) which takes the place of lunch, which is just fine with me today :)

3pm: Going out so need to test before driving. 5.7 - perfect. Will be wandering around the supermarket later which always drops me a little, so I make a mental note to sneak a lolly from my handbag while I'm there.

5.30: Arrive home with groceries, test: 3.9 guess who forgot to munch that lolly in the shop. I pinch the tiniest bit of icing from that cake (3.9 isn't even really low, just don't want to get lower) and start making tea. Wont do my usual trick of injecting 10 or more minutes early tonight, because I'll end up low before I even get to start eating.

6.10: Tucker time. Being around food when I have a lowish blood sugar tends to make me make bad decisions, so we have a huge pile of chips with our fried chicken (Baked, actually, with a yummy gluten free coating that I made up on the spot) and salad. Hmmm. A gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do ;) Chips are normally one of the foods I have to limit, they're too high in carb so they're hard to match with insulin. But tonight, I don't care :)

8.30: Test at 7.2, surprised it's not higher. Have to watch closely though because of the faster action of chips. (Oven baked chips, so they don't even have the high fat content to slow down digestion & BG spikes). Mental note to test again in 30 - 60 minutes to make sure I don't drop too far or end up going UP again!

9.15 test at 6mmol. Can't complain. Shouldn't drop much lower than that, if at all. Take my 2nd injection of Lantus. It's a 24 hour insulin but I take it twice a day with a 12 hour gap, it just provides a smoother background level and never leaves me without. Also means that I still have half a dose to help out if I forget my Lantus or take it a bit late.

10pm: Watching a movie, and a gal needs her movie munchies. I get through a small bowl of munchos (tomato flavoured chip sort of things). More high carb munching, tut tut. Matched with insulin of course but it's so hard to find the correct dose for stuff like that.

Midnight... Consider going to bed but I'm addicted to reading other diabetics blogs, so I'll just stay up a few more minutes... lol Test: 12.2mmol. Dammit. Chippies are never good. Take another couple of units but not too much as there's still some active insulin from the last injection.

1am: test & BED

So now you know just how disorganised my day can be lol. This was an easy day too... no exercise to speak of which would always lower my blood sugar. And apart from the evening munchies I had really good numbers - If only it could be like that every day! However it was also a high carb day, and I wasn't paying as much attention to my meals as I would normally do.

Diabetes is a full time job. However it really only takes a few minutes of my day to inject & test. It's what's goes on behind the scenes that makes it a full time job... In my mind I'm doing an almost constant blood sugar check. Any time the idea of food comes up I need to mentally weigh it and figure out how many carbs are in there as well as reading packets and sorting it out as properly as I can. I've lost some spontaneity in my life because I have to test before I go out, test while I'm out, and test before I leave. I may have to put off going out if I'm low or high. I may have to eat salad while everyone else is having a pig out. Or I may need sweets when no one else is eating.

The thing that worries me the most is other people's opinions about diabetes. (stupid eh - why should I care? but I do...), I suspect that most of the time it's not them at all, but my own idea of what they're thinking. Often I get paranoid that people think I brought my diabetes on myself. I think sometimes they see me eating sugary foods and think I'm such a bad diabetic. They might see that I'm a bit overweight and wonder if I can cure myself by losing some weight.

I am my own manual pancreas, and it's a bitch - so if you see me eating sweets, I'm just doing my job as a pancreas, trying to balance that blood sugar. Same again if you see me taking an extra injection or avoiding all the foods that you're trying to offer me. It's not easy being an important organ and personally I'd prefer it if my pancreas woke up and took its job back. Mr Pancreas did it so much better than I ever could!

I proudly stand behind T1 diabetes awareness, and Raise Your Voice - we type 1s need to spread the word a little, so we can hopefully find some understanding the world. The message I most want out there: Type 1 is an auto-immune disease. Years ago, something triggered an attack on my insulin producing cells, and now I just don't produce insulin. My diet did not cause it. It's not curable with weight loss or pills or anything else. I did not bring it on myself.

I wish the truth was out there for type 2s too - but today is type 1 day, and my main aim is to separate the types and help educate a few people.

[note... it's actually the day after T1 awareness day here in NZ, but because it's still the 14th in the U.S I can get away with this... right? Dammit I have to stop using this excuse lol)

I can talk about it in forums, I can natter away with strangers, I've even educated my great-aunt. But the tricky part is still to come - dinner with my family, all arranged as a Type 1 awareness dinner. I have to educate the people closest to me about my diabetes. Eeeeek!

M needs... for T1D's to RAISE YOUR VOICE!

2008-04-12T16:44:00.006+12:00

It's meme pinching time!

To do this one, type your name and then 'needs' (e.g, I typed: M needs) into google, and share some results with us (it's meant to be 10 but I avoided a few boring ones).

M needs a doctor
Pfft. M is her own doctor. M has no faith in doctors any more. M would actually appreciate it if she never had to see doctors again. Although if he was just my kinda guy... and single... well that might be another story!

M needs surgery
I don't fink sew!

M needs adaptor 0.8m
So I fit better in this world. Ah if only it was so easy.

M needs good home
M has a great home, and she's scared of losing it. What M really needs is a boarder right now, or for it to rain money so she can live happily ever after in her perfect little house with her son & cats...

M needs to gooooo
brb! lol

M needs your help
Aye. she certainly needs help of some kind!

M needs a room
Nah I love my oversized bedroom :)

M needs sex lessons
No no no. Just more practice!

And... On another note... it's interesting to see what people are getting organised for April 14th, Raise Your Voice Day. It's fantastic for T1D to have a little limelight. I'm not sure what to do... but I have been tinkering with the idea of having a family meeting (well, a chat over dinner) and discussing stuff about diabetes. There's a lot I haven't told them, and a lot they haven't asked. So if I can educate just a few family members that's a good start. It might stop my little sister telling people that I can't eat sugar because I'm epileptic. (hah!! btw I CAN eat sugar and it's called diabetes, darlink, not epilepsy... but it is kinda funny).

I have a few copies of the T1 diabetic starter kit (especially the cheat sheet for families & friends) from the Australian site, realitycheck.org.au. I'll be carrying these and other printouts with me on Monday (and keeping some in the car those occasions when I need them in future) so hopefully I will help spread the word a little bit :)

Thanks Kerri for giving us a voice!

Need a kitten fix?

2008-04-04T18:08:00.005+13:00

I haven't posted much about the kittens lately, apart from sharing the story of the hot sizzling kitty pee - so here's some piccies of the babies:

Sleeping strangely (after running around my room making a big mess, of course).
Waking up when Noodle comes in the room:
The race is on to meet Mum and grab a quick drink. Taco came in last and ends up climbing over Toni... lots of legs and tails everywhere!
It's kinda funny to see them still feeding off their Mum at that age - they're almost as big as she is!

Next week they'll be three months old. And I have to decide whether Pumpkin and Rigatoni go to a new home. I'm kinda addicted to my kitties! Can't really afford to feed them all, and I don't have the time or energy to clean up after them all, but it really is fabulous having 6 balls of fluff in the house (7 if you count the kitten's Dad who seems to have decided he lives here too!).

Still waiting for that winning lotto ticket ;) Then I'll keep all the cats and more... and maybe get them a nanny lol

On Wednesday, I was a mountain...

2008-03-29T23:24:00.006+13:00

BG logging is so much more fun when you turn it into art ;)

And that, my dears, is a much more fun way of looking at blood sugars ;) I much prefer dinosaurs to mountains, don't you?

bowled for six

2008-03-27T13:01:00.004+13:00

Lili tagged me for the 6 word meme. You've all seen the garb that goes with it so I wont bother with the rules, lets just get down to business!

I'm tossing up between these two:

Born. Smiled. Ate, Drank, Burped. Smiled.

To live, and love, that's life.

I had a good one going around in my head when I sat down to write this out. I only wish it was the first thing I wrote - because when I came to type it in my mind was blank. Gah!

I wont tag anyone, but anyone who wishes to do this can pretend I did tag them ;)

Thanks Lili - that was quite a challenge!

When kittens pee

2008-03-24T09:52:00.006+13:00

You know my adorable little babies?
The little fluffballs of fun & love?
Those wonderful gentle little cute things?

Well today they aren't in my good books! One of them, no idea which one, decided not to use the kitty litter this morning. Instead, it looked like fun to go pee on my carpet next to the computer. Right where the power board sits. The power board where my computer, monitor and printer are plugged in. All this happens on the other side of the room to where little ol' me is snoozing away happily dreaming of Easter chocolate.

I was woken up with a loud buzzing noise. Heard a kitten scampering, saw my make-do keep-kittens-out-of-the wires fences knocked over . Then I heard a louder buzzing and saw flashes of orange light.

I Zooted out of bed (like that word? There is no suitable word in the English language for how fast I jumped up outta bed and across to the other side of the room, so I made one up). It fizzed and let out one giant POP as I reached over to flick the switches.

And then the smell. Ohhhh gawd the smell! I can still smell it now... horrible electrical burning fizzing smell mixed with the oh-so-lovely aroma of hot zapped kitty pee. Eu de gross.

So there I stood, with everything turned off and unplugged, and my lower jaw hanging in shock, ready to burst into tears if I found that my computer had suffered. Too scared to find out, I went outside and had a cup of tea on the back porch while I watched the little bundles of terror climb trees innocently, and I tried desperately to wake up properly.

Breathing deep to relieve my stress, trying to settle my heart and block out the images of zapped kitties, my house burning down, and other freaky nightmarish daydreams that went through my head, I made my way back to my room.

Fatalities: One power board, one cable, one patch of carpet that can be brought back to life with a little cleaning.

Survivors: Kittens. Everything that was plugged in to the power board. Me. Phew.

Can you hear my sigh of relief? It's almost as loud as the shriek I made when I saw the orange lightening coming up off my wet powerboard...

Well at least I'm awake now.

Wash my feathered mouth out with soap...

2008-03-24T01:36:00.002+13:00

That is all.
:p

Match it for Pratchett

2008-03-19T11:59:00.004+13:00

I know most people here are desperate to have a cure in sight for diabetes... but it's good to concentrate on something else for a while eh?

I bet a lot of us have been touched by Alzheimer's at some stage. Here's a great idea: a site hoping to match Terry Pratchett's £500,000 donation. Let's do it!

This post comes with a huge bunch of cyber flowers to PTerry himself for bringing so much attention to a deserving cause.

More info on Terry's Alzheimer's in this Sun article (did he say that Lara Croft’s buttocks have improved??)
The Alzheimer's Research Trust site
More info on how to donate

One person's rubbish is another's life saving treasure

2008-03-18T12:18:00.000+13:00

What do you do with diabetes stuff that you don't use any more?

Gather up old insulins, spare meters, boxes of strips, insulin pens etc, and post them to Insulin for life who will then use them to help out people in the countries who don't have the support we have.

http://www.insulinforlife.org

Email them first, see if there's an agent in your country - saves a bit of bother with postage that way.

Even if your stuff is expensive, your doctor sucks, your D is fickle... we still have it pretty good really, don't we.

My cats nest

2008-03-17T11:54:00.007+13:00

My cats find all sorts of cute places to snooze. Here's Noodle and Pumpkin in a pile of weeds outside that looks like a giant nest. I get the feeling they should be tweeting.
Noodle says tweet!

Nesting inside... but I think Toni looks a little uncomfortable!

And finally, Rigatoni and his box. What an odd way to sleep!

Looking for Mr Upstairs

2008-03-16T10:59:00.005+13:00

The reason it took me so long to give my current boarder the boot is that I was avoiding having to find a new one. I remember the stress of doing that last time, and I'd be happy if I never had to do it again!

The current boarder, after 2 years of always paying on time and being a fairly responsible guy, started coming home drunk and making a racket. Some days he'd bring strangers home, also drunk, and they caused problems. When he started smoking in his bedroom - and smoking hard stuff too, that was the final straw. I'd already had this guy apologise many times for not helping out around the house - but still he never changed that and I felt like I had two kids to clean up after.

SO here I am again! Advertising and hoping like hell there's someone out there who's just a nice guy (yes, most likely male, I'm not sure I could live with another female) who I can trust to be in my home with my son and my cats, who will pay on time and give us our space.

So far I've had enquiries from:
A woman from overseas who doesn't speak English very well, who wants the room at least a week before it's available, and doesn't answer my questions. No go.

A single nearly 50 guy who loves his music, lives a buddhist lifestyle, and apparently lives by his own time regardless of others. He seems like a really nice guy - but his main worry is when he can listen to his music loud, and where he can keep his stuff in our house - even though I've repeated many times that the (huge) bedroom and cupboards are his space and the rest of the house is ours. This is not a house sharing arrangement - I'm looking for a boarder! This same guy didn't ring when he said he would, didn't turn up when he said he would, then when we arranged another time he turned up over an hour late and ordered a cup of tea as soon as he arrived!

This afternoon I'm seeing another guy - he's a married man with kids but he's left the family behind while he settles into his new job and saves to buy a house so that they can all move down. Although that makes him a temporary boarder, he's so far my best bet. Lets see if I say the same thing in a couple of hours when he's been in to have a look!
As much as I hate boarder-hunting, I don't hate it anywhere near as much as the idea of having to move out of my house - and we will have to do that if we can't find someone. And so I'll keep advertising, keep interviewing, and keep hoping for Mr Upstairs to turn up real soon. I can't bear the thought of losing this house :(

Edited to add:
Oohhh this afternoons visitor seems REALLY nice! Trouble is, he doesn't seem that interested and he thinks he might be allergic to cats. Doh!

Sorry about that...

2008-03-06T09:50:00.003+13:00

Motigo webstats have been removed. I'll miss them! But I refuse to allow anything that gives my site pop-ups!

Thanks for those who left comments. Very helpful :)

I'm so glad you guys still visit even though I was apparently throwing crap advertising at you every time you did. Sorrrrrrry :(

I wonder how they made it so that you lot got popups and yet 99.9% of the time I didn't?? Some clever cookie use or something I think!

Motigo used to be a great little service - well, they were before they were bought out and became Motigo. Tis a shame when good things go bad. Anyone know of any other site stat tools? (Or a clever bugger who can write one for me... that'd be cool. I don't ask for much, just the world lol)

Let me know if you still get advertising here. Google tells me that Motigo is definitely worthy of the blame, but if anything else I have is doing it too I'll remove it straight away. I HATE sneaky advertising!!

On another note... Look how cute my kittens are! lol

A question for you all

2008-03-06T01:38:00.006+13:00

Does anyone get popups from my site?

Many months ago someone said they did. I thought that was weird... checked and everything was fine, no one else was getting them, so I assumed it was her computer and not my site.

Just a few months ago *I* started getting a popup when I visited my own site, but I couldn't see a reason why. Again I blamed my computer, did a full clean up, took away my clever stats thing in case it was that, and moved on - I have more important things to complain about *puts nose in the air with that hoity toity look*

But now, darnit, I'm getting popups again. I don't think it's my motigo stats (which I since put back) - hope not, because it's a very cool little thing that I don't want to give up. So please people, tell me it's just me, tell me you've never seen a popup at my site (or noticed your browser blocking popups), and then I can carry on in my happy little world knowing that I'm sticking with my plans to forever be advert free on this blog (and dammit, if there ever are ads on this blog they'd better be paying me, not sneaking in without my permission. Hurumph.)

So..... what do you see?

BTW did anyone read the small print in my last post?
It said omfg I'm so scared!
I'm not good with change...

Changes

2008-03-04T12:52:00.003+13:00

I can't read the word changes without getting David Bowie's Ch-ch-changes song stuck in my head!

So, I've reached one of THOSE points in life. Stuff is changing all around me. It's a good thing, because nothing has changed dramatically for some time, and to be honest, I was getting bored!

Recently a very good friend moved away to Auckland - seems like so far away, but it's great we can still catch up on the net and it's only half a days travel for us to visit each other. That's quite a big change for us, since we used to catch up almost every day of the week and often did meals and/or movie nights together. It was great to have another insulin junkie around too.

Last week the painter started preparing our house for a re-paint of the outside. HUGE job - this is a massive house! I'm impressed with his speed, especially as he's doing it alone. One side of the house is almost completed already. I'm not sure about the colour scheme, he scrunched his face up while he was telling me about the owner's choice of greys & blues, but I am relieved it's not the same colours she chose for another house - lime green with blue. EW.

Last night I gave my boarder the boot. Had enough of him sneaking home drunk and trying to cook his dinner at 2am (and then, on a few occasions, going to sleep and leaving the oven on. eeeek), and I suspected he was sneaking drugs in too. That was confirmed last night when the smell of marijuana came wafting down the stairs. So, being that I'm a 'be soft til the last minute then tip over with the final straw' sort of person, we had words - surprising polite and friendly ones - and he'll be out by the end of March. We both understand each other - it's just clashing lifestyles. We're a quiet family with a 'cat zoo' who want to get on with our simple family-oriented (boring?) lives, he's a musician and single young man who needs to spread his wings and go wild. All fine but not a good match in one house.

Think positively for me please everyone - I'd like Mr Perfect to be my next boarder! If we don't find anyone we have to move out and find some pokey little flat somewhere, and that would be such a downer :(

If you can't send me Mr Perfect, then please send the winning lotto numbers :D I'd be sooo happy to have this house to myself! The boarder gets a fantastic room upstairs, about the size of 2 if not 3 normal bedrooms, with a deck off the side and a gorgeous view of the ocean. I've always wanted that bedroom!

It will be interesting to see what other changes 2008 brings for us. Bring it on!

Hyperactive kittens

2008-02-27T11:09:00.002+13:00

My babies have grown up so much! Gone are the days of cute little sleepy kitty videos. Here's what they get up to now.

'scuse the mess - it's scattered kitty litter, thanks to Minx who has to dig to China every time she uses it.

Happy one month birthday, kitties!

2008-02-15T00:46:00.003+13:00

A month old already?!
My babies are growing up sooo fast.

Low blood sugar blues

2008-02-15T00:45:00.001+13:00

Could you say no to this face?

2008-02-09T01:16:00.000+13:00

Click on Pumpkin to see him full sized. Toooo cute :)

Here he is sneaking away for cuddles with me on the couch while his mum & brother & sister slept.

They're all getting very playful now. Lots of play fighting. Every day I find new scratches on at least one of the kittens! I hate to watch it, but it's all part of growing up and learning how rough they can be without hurting.

And when they're finished with beating each other up, they all snuggle up together. Just like most siblings, I guess!

As far as I know my Sussy still hasn't made it to its recipient... they said it would take 4 - 10 days, so my fingers are tightly crossed that it arrives tomorrow (You do get mail on Saturdays in America, right?!)

O great mumble, I applaud thee

2008-02-08T02:26:00.002+13:00

I've seen some funny posts about the search terms people use to find blog sites. Being a blogger user I don't have those stats, but I do have something similar ... my Motigo Webstats. Unfortunately it doesn't show me search terms, but it does give me a broken down list of single words.

Sometimes it's funny to read down the list as if it's a paragraph. Today I thought I'd make it into a poem, keeping the words in the same order they appear in the list (most common words at the top):

Free performa
That not day
Performa.

Old anderson
Medium gluten
Accu-chek meter.

George pee
Hands my Slice
m.stuff
In its
T.

Accu fingers
Lolcatz
Kittens.

Ahh, blessed words, so much more fun when messed up :)

Mumble bloomin' grumble bloomin' moan.

2008-02-08T00:21:00.000+13:00

Hormones. Geeez they know how to stuff us up, don't they?

I'm menopausal. It sucks at my age, it really does. Started in my late 20s and because I'm so young it has to be dragged out until I'm about 50.

I'm now on HRT. No big deal I guess, at least it offers me some protection. And as far as I knew I had no troubles with it. (And as a bonus I still don't get periods - which I'm very very happy with thank-you-very-much!)

I clearly remember asking my doctor if the HRT would effect my blood sugars in any way.

NO says he.

A few months down the track I see an alarming thing happening with my BGs. They're climbing for a couple of weeks. I increase all insulin and freak out a bit. I test so often my fingers have polkerdots. Up up and away goes my BG no matter how many corrections I make.

And then, for another couple of weeks, I'm struggling with lows. I feel more energetic (always do when my numbers are lower) but I'm having far too many lows. So I adjust insulins again.

And so on.

As far as I knew I was just stuck in a roller coaster of insulin changes, never quite finding the right amount. I thought I wasn't paying enough attention, I thought I was probably not eating well enough, not sleeping well enough, getting stressed about stuff, and just not doing a good job.

It's taken me this long to realise that I'm having an extreme version of a woman's typical BG ups & downs that go with the monthly hormonal changes!

Fer cryin' out loud, woman! I can't believe I was so slow!

This is what's pissing me off:
My waking number is O-M-G-high! I would expect it to be a little higher than average because I slept in. But THAT high?! ouch!

It freaked me out so much that I became overcautious for most of the day. Over-jabbed for everything because I knew I was in for the same crap as the previous few days. It worked until 9pm, as you can see, where I hit an *almost* low and then bounced severely back into the teens... and never left there :(

Well geez - the good news is that I've finally clicked. From now on I'll have a planned increased basal as soon as I start the progesterone pills, instead of increasing it after a week of hassles and then having to decrease it when I'm stuck with lows. Maybe now that I realise where it's all coming from I can stay a step ahead and stop freaking out about the crazy readings.

It's times like this I'm glad I log (and I'm really glad Kevin wrote that oh-so-wonderful Excel file that so many of us love!). If I didn't log I'd never have seen the trend.

My A1c is due next week. I think there'll be a few weeks of stalling, because I'd rather wait until I know it's a bit lower. Even though I know it'll be a bit higher now, I don't want to see it confirmed! (If I don't see it, it never happened, right?)

Here's to a smoother ride from now on...

Close up kitties

2008-02-06T01:51:00.000+13:00

Toni and Taco go a wandering

Poor old Rigatoni has something up with his left eye. It's gone all gooey around the edges and he can't open it properly :( I've been cleaning it a few times a day and it looks heaps better already, but I suspect he could be the first baby to make me poor at the vets!

Until then, here they all are being gorgeous as always :)

Toni, Pumpkin,Taco, and Noodle in front.

I have mail!

2008-02-04T16:29:00.000+13:00

I love getting mail. Today was extra special as I got two parcels :) Double-extra-special because yesterday was my birthday so I've had lots of presents I'm feeling very well looked after :)

SUSSY!

Landileigh has obviously been reading my blog - I have Reeses Peanut butter cups! Just the thing I wanted to try :) OMG I'm going to be in chocolate heaven.

And look at the gorgeous kitty photo holder! The candle is perfect - I like to have lots of them around the edges of the bath for when I need some ME time. The hearts are apparently paper weights but I like them as bowls :D

Thank you so much, Landileigh :) What a wonderful parcel :)

This parcel is my birthday present from Trunkles:

A lightscribe DVD writer - Grrrrrr-oovy :)
The SD memory card isn't there because I had to put it in my camera in order to take the photo lol. Thanks Trunkles! I needed the 4g because I keep taking a few trillion pics and movies of the kittens every day.

And this is what I had for breakfast today:

Left over birthday cake as made by my wonderful Auntie.

The biscuits around the edges are what's left from my son's baking yesterday - he made me a batch of afghan biscuits with melted choc icing, and then wrote on them in thick blue letters. One letter each to make the words 'happy birthday'. SO yummy. And that's what I had for lunch today, along with some left over BBQ steak.

Anyone get the feeling my blood sugar could be troublesome today?!

February fluffiness

2008-02-01T16:27:00.000+13:00

I can't believe the first month of 2008 is gone already!
But I don't care, because I HAVE KITTENS lol.

Today was Pumpkin's play day. All three came outside with us for some time under the shade of the tree, but the other two mostly slept!

So here's some Pumpkin pie cuteness:

Toni and Pumpkin resting (and Taco's nose in there too):

Toni holding his mother's face while she gave him a clean:

And all of them snuggled up:

HOW nerdy?

2008-01-29T22:55:00.000+13:00

THIS nerdy!

Sussing out my sassy sussy, sis!

2008-01-29T01:57:00.000+13:00

In New Zealand, if something is 'suss' then it's suspicious.
If you're sussing something out, you're figuring it out.
So the whole sussy circle thing made me think of suspicious weird presents... at least the 2nd term fits - sussing out who sent it!

Well, when this arrives...

Someone will know!

*sits back with crossed fingers hoping she managed to pick out the right stuff*
*crosses more fingers that it wont take too long to get where it's going... soooo far away from me*

A kitten's first adventure

2008-01-28T15:24:00.000+13:00

Rigatoni, the first born and the most adventurous of the three, has been on his First Big Adventure.

And M, also the first born, not really adventurous though, made a movie of it.

Poking holes in fingers and thoughts

2008-01-27T01:41:00.000+13:00

My insulins cost me about a dollar a month each.

My meters were both free.

My test strips are also about a dollar a month.

My Lancets I pay full price for, and for some reason that makes me a total scrooge!

I just opened a new pot of strips for one of my meters. This means using a new lancet. Every time I start a new one, I cringe. Another lancet 'wasted'.

What's the big deal? They probably cost me just a few cents each! Maybe I should work out exactly how much they cost so I can see how silly it is to worry about the price!

Once I've changed it, I test, and ohhh it feels so good (really?!) to test with a fresh lancet.

It's crazy to feel so good about sticking something sharp in my finger, right? And crazy to worry about such a tiny expense. I don't think twice about spending $3 on a block of chocolate that certainly wouldn't last as long as my lancets!

To some degree, I can be a scrooge about everything. I am used to being a single mother on a strict budget after all. But this is nuts.

Next week I'm going to go out and splurge... a new box of lancets for both prickers. I probably wont change them any more regularly than I already do, but perhaps when I do change them I'll stop feeling guilty about the expense!

In fact, now that I've vocalised these crazy thoughts, I suspect I've just cured myself.

(My apologies to my American readers - I realise my silly issue here is nothing compared to the prices you pay and the struggles you sometimes go through with insurance companies. Yikes.)

Kittens, 13 days old, and omg adorable!

2008-01-26T17:17:00.000+13:00

I took the babies outside today, and caught some beautiful pics!

A movie to start with. If you like hearing cute wee kitty squeaks, turn your sound up!

And some adorable close up pics:
Rigatoni (on the right) with Taco (I think - but could be Pumpkin). Noodle in the background, Pumpkin (or, urr, Taco) underneath them.

Rigatoni is practising his 'come hither' look, I think... or is it the 'I'm sooo gunna get you' look?

Rigatoni and Taco are using Pumpkin as a pillow. Awww.

Our two silver-black tabbies are starting to look more like silver-brown-black tabbies. Bit of a mouthful - It's a good thing I don't care about breeds, I'm quite happy to just call them kittens!

Pumpkin snuggled up in Mum's back legs. Noodle is so very patient with her babies, and often ends up in really strange positions as she tries to get comfortable around her babies!

I love being a kitty-nana :D

One for Kelly K

2008-01-25T00:27:00.000+13:00

This is the second time I've been tagged for the 7 things meme - I'm actually going to do it now. A break from kitten blogging! Procrastination flies out the window now - oh wait, what's that shiny thing?! Is that a chocolate wrapper? I'll brb...

Ok, so, from Kelly K:

... if u want to participate, create a post with either 7 famous people you've met or 7 strange facts about yourself & then randomly select 7 other blogs to tag. It's a great way to read other blogs.
Thanks for dealing with me!
Have a great week and will continue to read your post!
Kelly K

So now I'm left pondering whether I can come up with 7 things that you wouldn't already know about me. Hmm. Well it's pretty certain that I don't know 7 famous people, so I'll just have to come up with something :D

Just to jazz things up a little, I'm going to use Maori numbers. I'm going to make it just about blogging / diabetes bloggers / me / whatever the hell I feel like, really. OK?!

Tahi: I still read blogs manually, with no blog reader. I'm not anti-technology or anything, I just prefer to click a bookmark rather than read a list. This is still true even though I have about 45 blogs I visit regularly. It's just nice to see it all as it was written... and the links on the side and all that. Especially when I'm bored and go blog-surfing.

Rua: I get so jealous of some of the bloggers who have pumps and CGMS :( I can't wait until they are standard diabetes treatment in this country - if that happens (surely it will?).
They are so rare here, and no one else seems even half as eager as I am, but I would almost kill to have a CGMS and I'd certainly maim for a pump. It's ok, you're all safe, I'm on the other side of the world!

Toru: I eat sugar. Yes indeed. And chocolate, and Chinese food, and pizza, and sometimes even potatoes and cake. Well of course, you knew that - we all do it, but sometimes it seems to be a hushed up thing. People should know that diabetes isn't about 'not having sugar'. That's like soooo 80's, y'know (*grin*). So I'm just saying, I eat what I like. That's all. Although - since we're confessing - my diet is actually pretty good and well balanced.

wha: I get nervous every time I have to see a doctor / endo or anyone who's in that line of work. I always expect to have to argue with them about my control. I always expect them to pick on my highs or complain about my lows. I picture them tut-tutting and picking at me. But y'know what... it doesn't happen. I've had minor battles - like my struggle to get enough test strips, but so far (touch wood) nothing drastic. I'm still expecting it every time I go, though...

rima: I'm quite happy as a diabetic, really. I've adjusted. I keep my a1c low, I plan it out and take care of myself. I know what I'm doing. I've learnt about it - I control it and I refuse to let it control me. I've come to accept it, and I've made my life work around it.
BUT I still curse my pancreas and wish it would get it's bloody act together. I still hate it. With a passion. *scream*

ono: I have no faith in a cure. None at all. *sigh* I wish I did - but then perhaps this is the better way for me to be - I have low expectations, and so I can't be let down. Ho hum.

whitu: Some days I over-estimate my insulin on purpose, just so I can have something 'naughty' later. Not in a dangerous way (well ok, I guess it IS dangerous, but I'm careful) - I don't try to get low, I just take a lot of insulin with dinner or with a correction dose, and remember that about an hour later I'll need to sneak in something carb-laden.
It feels naughty every time - yet what I'm really doing is allowing myself a 'treat', thinking ahead, keeping the blood sugar at a better flatter rate, and keeping in control. Why does it feel so naughty then?!

And now, because I can't help myself.... here's today's kitten pic :D

Thanks for the tag, Kelly.

Ohh and I've done my Sussy Circle shopping... just have to post it off now :) Hope it doesn't take too long for my package to get the U S of A! What a good idea this was, I love getting mail, I love presents, and I love giving people presents :)

8 days old - getting cuter by the day :)

2008-01-21T23:49:00.000+13:00

Noodle with two of the kittens - the other one was sleeping between her back legs with his head against her bottom. Ohhhkaaaaay.

One of the twins now has one eye open... I can't wait til they all have their eyes open, coz as adorable as they are, it's just weird that they can't see me and I can't see their eyes!

And because my other two cats are feeling left out, here they are being beautiful too.

Bub not letting anyone go down the stairs:

And Minx, who has taken over Noodle's box while she's been 'awol' (downstairs with her babies).
I still can't believe I have a 6 cat family. I always wanted lots of cats, but I wanted to have settled down with heaps of money and a little farmlet first! Mind you, I said that about having children too...

I guess I'm not too good at sticking to my plans :D

5 days old

2008-01-18T21:37:00.001+13:00

The twins...
You can see why we have trouble telling them apart!
The cutest thing, from my point of view, is that they both have dark lines on their foreheads (do cats have foreheads?) that make the shape of an M. Very fitting for my kitties!

We have figured out - we think - that one is male and one is female. Perhaps for the rest of their lives we'll be lifting their tails to find out which one we're talking to?!

Everybody say Awwwww...

My babies are now lolcats!
Click on the pic and select a cheeseburger rating to vote for it, and ya never know, my babies might end up on the main page at icanhascheezburger.com

4 day old kittens

2008-01-17T17:46:00.000+13:00

I guess they don't actually look any different than they did a couple of days ago.
I'm sure it's just another 'cats in a box' pic.
But to me, it's adorable, and they're just so special :)

Yes, it's all about the kittens, again.

2008-01-15T17:27:00.000+13:00

They're just so cute :)

kittens day 2

2008-01-14T11:48:00.000+13:00

Oh. My. Gawd. I'm loving this. ADORABLE!

K I T T E N S ! !

2008-01-14T00:52:00.000+13:00

January 13th, 5.45pm, kitten number one - A black & white male - came into the world...

And then at 7.15 kitten number 2 followed in his/her (can't tell yet!) big brothers footsteps:
And then at 7:43 kitty 3 joined us:

Can't tell the gender of this one yet either!
I think the two black/silver tabby's are probably females but I'll confirm at a later date!

Here's Noodle and babies after a good clean up:

I'm so proud of my baby girl and her babies!

Noodle and other edible cat names

2008-01-06T20:05:00.000+13:00

OK! So the kittens are only about a week or so away now (ish)... and we're stumped for kitten names.

We're hoping for more pasta or food related names, since Mum's name is Noodle. Something cute, something that can be shortened to a suitable name if it's long, and something we can pronounce ;)

This is where you step in! Help?

Stuff happens.

2008-01-05T17:20:00.000+13:00

Grab yourself a cuppa, make yourself comfy, and sit back to watch

the Story of Stuff.

Makes you think, hmm? And I love how this is presented by an energetic woman who makes it worthwhile watching (well the cute little pictures help too...)

For more info check out the story of stuff website at www.storyofstuff.com

Scooping up the latest meme... my life in pictures:

2008-01-03T00:57:00.000+13:00

1. Age at my next birthday:
Rolling onto 33 soon... bring it on :D

2. A place I'd like to travel to:
London, England

3, A Favorite Place:
Paraparaumu Beach

4. A Favorite Thing:
Puddy tats

5. A Favorite Food:
Cadbury Chocolate

6. A Favorite Color:
Deep dark blue

7. A Favorite Flower:
Sunflowers, they're so cheerful :)

8. The City You Live In:
Paraparaumu - which is actually a town... (Part of Wellington City).

9. Name of a Past Pet:
Black & white long haired Border Collie cross. He was fantastic :)

10. A Nickname You've Had:
My college nickname was Chuckles, my best friend was Giggles. We were terribly giggly back then!

11. College Major:
I majored in life, baby

12. First Job:
Babysitting

13. A Hope for 2008:
Oh y'know, world peace and good health all round...
Or... a pump and a CGMS.
Especially the CGMS. *sigh*

Hey welcome to my new place, take a look around...

2007-12-31T01:32:00.001+13:00

It was time for a change... so now I have some colour in my blog :)
Ahhh much better!

Happy New Year everyone!

And thanks for stopping by :) I wouldn't be who I am now if it wasn't for the bloggers and the forum posters. I'd be a rambling mess not knowing what the heck to do about being diabetic! Thanks everyone for the smiles, the stories, the advice, and the friendship. Here's to smooth sailing in the new year. Cheers! *clink*

A bit of America in little old New Zealand

2007-12-28T00:12:00.000+13:00

This picture may not look like anything special to you if you're in America like most of my readers... but to me, these 4 chocolate treats were quite a find!

This stuff is not normally available in New Zealand, but I found these - along with a can of Dr Pepper - in my local dairy (milk bar? Deli? Whatever you call them... it's where you go when you need ciggies, milk and a paper!)

The Dr Pepper was gross - tasted like an overdose of sugar with more sugar added, and a bit of a 'blue lolly' taste (now how's that for a taste description?). I'd expected a vaguely peppery coca cola sort of taste. I thought that was weird enough, but this sugar-on-sugar-on-sugar stuff was just... Blergh! At twice the price of our usual drinks selection, I don't think I'll bother getting that again!

But the chocolates... YUM!

Now I finally know what you're all talking about when you rave about Reeses, and Milk Duds, etc. I only wish I could have tried the Peanut Butter Cups I hear so much about.

Giving thanks to my insulin for allowing me to indulge... and to my BG meter for giving me nice enough numbers afterwards ;) And to America for producing yummy munchies - and to my Mum and Dad for creating me...

And to my Christmas stash of chocolates - kiwi made choccies, I might add - that can keep me company for the next few evenings ;)

My house is a zoo!

2007-12-27T23:21:00.000+13:00

We have three cats - big Bub, medium sized Minxie, and our little girl Noodle. For those who don't remember every word I've posted here (ahem), Noodle was a stray - a sick little girl who started visiting us a long time ago and then moved in earlier this year.

Cute or what? My three babies - Minx on the left, then Bub sleeping as usual in a weird position, and Noodle

We took this bedraggled looking girl to the vet and discovered she was about a decade older than we thought, had cancer, and probably wouldn't hang on more than a couple of months. Heart-breaking :( But we were glad to have her and give her a good home. She was so energetic and so loving :)

A few months later, we had this healthy looking girl with a wonderful shiny coat, still all bouncy and playful, still very loving, and still with cancerous looking growths but showing no sign of slowing down. The vet called her our miracle cat.

Fast forward to today... another vet visit, and now it seems she's actually YOUNGER than we thought, Never had cancer in the first place (but still something that brings on bad swelling around her tongue/throat), and.... *drum roll* she's pregnant.

OMG I'm going to be a 'Nana'!!

This was not a shock, because I saw her flirting with Mac (My son's name for this wandering male cat - he was 'MC' for Mystery Cat, then became Mac for short). I assumed that Noodle had had 'the chop'. But then I was told that female cats who've had 'the chop' aren't interested in flirting with the male sluts and rolling around in the hay.
And then I saw the bulge growing around her belly.
And growing some more.
And then I looked up cat pregnancies on the net and realised there's only a 9 week gestation.
And then I freaked out and called the vet.
But now I'm a happy girl... because now we not only get lots of babies, but we've also discovered she's quite healthy enough to have them, and isn't threatening to leave this world any time soon.

I HAVE NO IDEA what to do with kittens! I've never had a cat who was able to have babies before. I'm nervous, but also very excited. The hard part is going to be passing some of those kitties off to other people... I just know I'm going to fall in love with every one of them and not want to pass them on!

Any advice re kittens, or helping Noodle through her pregnancy (or how to keep myself sane) would be gratefully appreciated!

Woot! Kitties! How adorable!

2-3 weeks to go. Gorgeous kitty photos to come :)

P'ram Beach sunset part 2

2007-12-22T23:10:00.001+13:00

Can I only have 4 pics per post?? I can't seem to get any more in... so here are the two others I wanted to share:
Ahhh I love this place :)

And here's a little video of the seagulls

"Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine..."
You've seen Finding Nemo, right?

Paraparaumu Beach... and why I love it.

2007-12-22T22:57:00.000+13:00

Nature put on quite a show for us tonight...

One cheeky looking Seagull (Trunkles is looking for a caption for this pic over on his blog)
Click to enlarge...

And one STUNNING sunset:

Christmas Madness

2007-12-20T10:51:00.000+13:00

1. Wrapping or gift bags? Wrapping paper. More fun ripping into it... or carefully peeling it off if it's something cool. To be honest, I think BOTH are a waste of money and filling up the earth with unnecessary rubbish! But I guess I have to have a balance between Christmas spirit and my urge to look after the planet - so wrapping paper it is, and lots of recycling afterwards.

2. Real or artificial tree? Oh man I soooo love real trees! We don't get them any more - my son gets asthma and I get headaches & sinus trouble. Pffft. So now we have a fake tree (which I have to admit, is SO much tidier).

3. When do you put up the tree? As late as I possibly can. Some time after the 12th, ish. We put it up earlier this year because my friend was over from Australia (around the 8th I think) but normally I'd wait.

4. When do you take the tree down? When I finally get sick of having a darker dining room - it blocks the windows. Sometime soon after New Year.

5. Do you like eggnog? I have no idea - it's not a common thing in this country (New Zealand).

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I really don't recall!

7. Do you have a nativity scene? No, and I never will. I do have a blow up Santa and two bright orange blow up reindeer though. (hehehe! Thankfully they're just small!)

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Hmmm I don't know... I seem to get pretty good stuff.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards? I gave up sending cards. I'll still make sure I make contact with everyone - an email, a phone call, whatever - but cards suck up so much time and money and just end up in the bin. Maybe I'm a scrooge, but I haven't missed doing them - I do kinda miss getting them, though!

10. Favorite Christmas Movie? Oh no, I'm really showing my scrooge bits now - I tend to dislike Christmas movies... they have the ability to be so tacky.

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Any time during the year if I see something that someone would like - otherwise, I aim for the end of November, but actually get things done somewhere around the 20th of December. Which happens to be today - and I hope I'm finished with it all because I so hate being in the malls when they're overcrowded and full of stressed people!

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Mum's gluten free Christmas cake is delicious... chocolate santas, roast dinner - geez, all the Christmas fare is pretty good :)

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear on the tree, surrounded by lots of nice little shiny decorations. (However, I happen to have coloured lights on the tree this year because our white ones were going cock-eyed). I like the coloured ones around the house. We bought three new sets this year - which takes our total up to about 12, which starts putting me in the 'crazy about Christmas lights' category, I think.

14. Favorite Christmas song? I grew up on Jim Reeve's Christmas Album - so that's the one that means it's really Christmas. However, I've heard it a few times every year for 32 years - so it has a good Christmas feeling to it, but it's also getting rather repetitive :P

This is the weirdest one, and I like it, but I wont call it my favourite!

15. Travel at Christmas or stay home? On Christmas day we sort of travel, but it's only an hour's drive to get to Mum's for Christmas Dinner. (Hey that's a long drive to us Kiwis!). We don't go on holiday around Christmas time because it's just too crowded everywhere, and the traffic jams etc are worth avoiding! Instead, because we're homeschooling, we can travel any time of the year we like. I think next year we'll be going to Auckland again, because our friend is moving up there.

16. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? I can if I get a little help from the Interweb ;)

17. Angel on the tree top or a star? We actually have a blank spot on the top of our tree. Sad eh? We used to have an angel - made from a Ken doll (as in Barbie & Ken). The poor guy lost his legs in a bath incident years ago, and then was subjected to wearing a frilly white dress with angel wings. It's ok, his friends don't see ;)

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning? Christmas morning for sure!

19. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The stress that Christmas seems to bring to people. Everyone's just that little bit more touchy, worried about getting shopping done or planning a holiday... where's the Christmas buzz?

20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color? Nope - just lights & decorations of any kind, whatever my son and I feel like doing at the time.

21. What do you leave for Santa? Whatever we think he'll want. Normally a fizzy drink (only half, because Santa wont have time for a full drink) and something my son has baked. This year it's going to be Mellow Yellow - the coolest fizzy drink around - and probably an afghan biscuit.

22. Least favorite holiday song? Let me think about this one for a while...

23. Favorite ornament? None. Just the Christmas lights - they're the best :D

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I've gone belly-up and had a belly-full.

2007-12-20T09:51:00.001+13:00

I'm writing this from inside Adobe Contribute. Just a trial run :) Not sure why people create programs to write blogs when it's so easy to do them online, but I'm about to find out!

I'm such a geek.

Anyways, this all started because I was filling in my (scary) BG numbers for last week and found a 'contribute to blog' button in excel. It was easier to play around in my blog than to actually look at my BG results for the week, so denial won the battle today and here I am playing :D

*sigh* It's been a bouncy few weeks (shocking for me, anyway, as I normally have very tight control).

Lets hope things look much better in the next couple of weeks as I finally get the correct Lantus dose, which has eluded me ever since I gave up the Metformin aaaaaages ago.

And, at the same time, I really must concentrate on eating a bit better... uhh, except perhaps for Christmas day :D Bad diet and uncontrollable numbers do SO go hand in hand, no matter how clever you are with Diabetes.

Oh, and while I'm at it, I better start getting in some exercise. Sheesh, when did my control go belly-up? It all snuck up on me.

SO, onward & upward. I wont stress too much about my shocking range, speedily rising highs and shameful waking numbers... I'll just move on and get rid of them :D (She says, with as much positive thinking as she can muster, and an energetic smile)

2007 12 10

###

Scary, I'm actually willing to leave this file here and let the world see it. Until I chicken out and delete it later, of course ;)

It doesn't look THAT different to my normal results... but I know a lot of effort went in to keeping those results from being MUCH worse. And look at all those numbers in the teens! ARGH!

Edited to add: HAH! The file doesn't seem to be there, just some place marker. Well, just imagine some wiggly lines that go way out of the normal range at crazy times ;)

Eh won see

2007-11-30T10:30:00.000+13:00

The results are in... my A1c is 6.2 - again.
Not as low as I'd have liked, but darnit, I WILL hit the 5s, or at least a 6.0, SOON. Determination has to mean something, doesn't it?!

Here's what some of my a1c results look like over the last few years - I'm pretty happy hanging around the low 6 area, I guess. But wouldn't a 5 be like a big fat pat on the back for all the hard work I've put into this?

That's 'some' of my a1c results because I had them more often around the time I was diagnosed - Monthly to start with - but my nurse wouldn't / couldn't give me those results when I asked for them. I know there's at least one over 9 in there somewhere from when they were treating me as a type 2... but I'm actually quite happy to forget about that!

One unit

2007-11-10T09:52:00.000+13:00

I'm amazed at the difference one measly unit can make.
It can be the difference between a low and a high Blood sugar reading.
It can be the difference between a happy day and a grumpy one.
And just lately, it's the difference between a horrible night's sleep and a good one!

Recently I took myself off Metformin. I'd been taking it on and off for years - from the days when I was mis-diagnosed as a type two, and then as a booster when I couldn't lose weight. I'm not sure why I stayed on it - I didn't lose an ounce, it had no effect at all - and yet the docs wanted me to stay on it. What use is that?

When I went on the Met I needed to drop my basal by one unit each injection (twice a day for that lovely smooth basal...), and I dropped the Novorapid a little too. It just makes sense that I'd need to put them up again once I stopped Met, right?

Wrong, apparently!

The Lantus went up, the NR was increased just a teensy weensy bit for any meal with a decent amount of carbs involved. My BGs were looking SO good. Really really beautiful numbers (Can blood sugar readings be beautiful?!). My pre-bed numbers looked gorgeous. My post meal numbers were to die for. I could eat anything and get away with it. I could even have a very small snack without injecting. Highs were rare. It was as if my pancreas has suddenly started working just a little bit...

But DUH. Think about it, M. It was overkill, that's what it was. The Lantus was too much. I was on an all day drop. To some degree this worked for me - it was nice to have the knowledge that I was always in a good BG range, and it was nice to be able to nibble something without jabbing once in a while. I could handle the odd low - it meant I could have munchies! But what about the night time?

NOT good. I was waking up around 8 - 9 mmol a few times a week. Other days I would definitely be higher than when I went to bed. I was happy assuming that this was some form of Dawn Phenomenon that I wasn't used to, something that the Metformin had worked on for me that I now had to deal with myself.

After a few weeks of this I was actually beginning to look forward to my a1c (which I took yesterday). But I was feeling so trashed. Sleep was an issue - I wanted too much of it! I felt unrested. I never remembered any dreams which is odd for me. I'd fall asleep with the lamp on and some nights I'd even left the electric blanket on. Eep. And I was getting up far too late - a day feels so wasted when you're not ready to face it until lunch time.

It turns out that one unit makes a BIG difference. In hindsight, I can see that it was too much Lantus. I was actually going low overnight, and then my liver (all praise the wonderful liver) was rescuing me. This led to an uncomfortable nights sleep, which made me even more tired the next day, which led to me being too sleepy to wake up for the next nights low, which led to more of the same.

Which in turn makes me FREAK OUT. I was going low every night. EVERY night. How low? I'll never know. I can't help but question it. What if I hadn't woken?

I'm just glad I didn't go on like that for too long.

And as stupid as it is, I'm glad I did my a1c at a time when I'm almost guaranteed to get a good result. The result will also verify my theory of these overnight lows. I can't see that my problems could be anything else when I look at the evidence. I'll know soon... the countdown for another a1c result is on. I'll report in a few days :)

It's been two days now since I dropped the Lantus. I feel SO GOOD! I slept well last night, I woke up feeling good - I actually woke up feeling like I was going low, I was 4.2 - not low yet but heading there - so the Lantus changes still need another day to kick in, but at least it was a morning low not an overnighter. I can deal to it with breakfast - perfect.

Ah, I feel Dumb for missing this for weeks - but I feel GOOD that I've got it sorted :)
We never do stop learning, do we?

Short & sweet - well, not so short - and sugar-free sweet, of course.

2007-11-05T13:22:00.000+13:00

Hello world :)

I've come to realise that the less I think about diabetes, the better I do. I'm much less stressed about it when I spend less time on the forums, less time on here writing about it, and less time freaking about numbers.

That doesn't mean I'm giving up on forums or my blog - it just means I'm enjoying a bit of peace for a while :)

Things are going well - I seem to have pretty good numbers all round at the moment. I'm due for an A1c this week - well, whenever I get my A into G and take the card to the blood-drainers. I'm still hoping for a result in the 5s - and I think if I'd have gone a couple of weeks ago I may have got that, but I've been making changes the last couple of weeks that might have stuffed it up.

Ever since I heard that the last few weeks make a big impact on your a1c (I guess the most recent bits are the strongest?? or most numerous??) I've noticed that I have bigger swings and higher highs when I'm due to get tested! How typical is that.

I've been dabbling in all things spiritual - not religion as most of you would know it, but researching psychic abilities, mediumship, etc. And wow have I learnt a lot. I guess it's something a lot of you wouldn't agree with, so I wont go on :) But it's been a very educational move for me and I may have more to share at a later date.

My cats are still totally gorgeous and have me thoroughly wrapped around their cute little paws :) Little Noodle (the old 'lady' with throat cancer) is still a healthy looking kitten to look at. Even though her body is going through so much, she's the one with all the energy. The one who will eat anything, even though she has no teeth. And the one who makes a mess of the floor because anything she sees needs to be thrown around the room and chased! She's also the only cat we have who loves to be picked up and cuddled. She'll even let us walk around with her - the other two freak if you even *think* about picking them up.

I love my babies very much :)

Minx and Bub

Noodle

The car is still great - though it's spent most of its time covered in sand & salt! The weather around here has been wild on and off lately. Very windy, as it often is with the move into spring. As we only live one street back from the beach, we end up with a lot of salt & sand all over the house & cars (and everything). We hadn't had much rain either, so it sat there clogging everything up and making all the windows look sooo grubby. No big deal - it all clears up in the rain, but it's a shame to have a nice new car I'm proud of that looks like shit lol

Nothing else to report - life is good!

Gosh this reads more like a letter than my typical blog post... but that's what came out of my writing (typing) fingers today :)

All the best to all of you :)
x x x
M

Parents will love this!

2007-10-10T12:39:00.000+13:00

I love what this woman has done - sing along :)

Move into my street!

2007-10-02T02:02:00.000+13:00

I was playing around at DrawAHouse.com - I've drawn my house, now come join me and move into Thingy Wotsit Avenue!

Just a bit of fun... the site instructs you to draw a house, then suggests a few things to add, then tells you a little about your personality judged by your picture. Try it out and move in next door to me!

hehehehe.. time to play

2007-09-24T12:26:00.000+12:00

Check out what's really going on at 'Being M'...

I've been egged
And there's a bunch of people complaining about it...

*grin*
Click your browsers back button to get back here - you wont be able to click anything there :)

check out www.netdisaster.com and send flies, worms, flowers, scribbling babies and a bunch of other things to a site of your choice. If there's a site you don't like you can chop it up with a chainsaw or get your revenge with a gun!

When hormones come to play

2007-09-22T11:55:00.000+12:00

Ridiculous blood sugar highs for around 10 days, coupled with a fat & frumpy feeling and cravings for all the wrong foods... it can only mean one thing: I have a period coming. (Sorry to anyone not interested in gal talk. You can click out if you must.. or hang around and learn a little about what we go through).

Every period screws with me - For 7 - 10 days beforehand my Lantus is nowhere near enough, I suddenly need twice the normal dose of short acting insulin with my meals and yet still need corrections afterwards. I feel tired - oh so tired. My hair looks grotty just a few hours after I've cleaned it, my pain threshold is way wonky - everything hurts. PMT sucks.

Then wham... a run of low BGs starting with one sudden drop that always catches me unaware. This time it hit overnight, and I woke from a weird dream at around 3.30 am with a BG of 2.4 (43mg/dl). That was the beginning ... since then I've been working to avoid lows almost all day every day.

At the peak of all this I went for a birthday dinner at a friend's house. I tested at 5.1 before dinner, took my injection with really conservative insulin estimates for spaghetti bolognese. I cooked it, so I know exactly what's in it. I also know there's Apple pie and cream for dessert but I decide not to inject for that yet considering my lower numbers of late.

Only about an hour after eating I'm feeling weird. I test at 2.2 (39). I get half a glass of coke, a large square of Nestle's 'heaven' chocolate, and decide to have dessert without an injection. I'm expecting a ridiculous high from this, but I just can't stand the lows any more! So I eat pudding - a good chunk of apple pie - that's gooey apple centre (vaguely carby), Pastry (heavily carby) and sugar sprinkled heavily on top (super carby). NO insulin. 30 minutes later I test again, 2.6 (48). I curse diabetes under my breath and just keep munching.

The day before, also at dinner time, I'd eaten hungrily knowing my BG was dropping a little. Dosed conservatively to avoid lows. Yet only one hour after eating my eyes were having trouble making sense of the world and I couldn't quite stay focused on the story my son was telling me. I'd dropped to 1.6 (29) and still had over an hours worth of insulin working to drop me lower. Bring on the coke, jellybeans and chocolate - say goodbye to losing any weight this week.

These two lows are bad enough, but I haven't even started telling you the full story. I'm low after breakfast, I'm low after having lunch with no insulin, I'm low when I *think* about exercising, Im nibbling all day. I'm getting this actually rather nice looking average BG reading in the 4s... but not nice in this situation.

Hormones suck. I'm never ready for this roller coaster ride - how can anyone ever be ready for it? It's not following a routine, it's not checking in with me before playing with my BGs! It's screwing up my patterns and giving me trouble - which in turn leaves me tired and sometimes moody.

All in all, that's 2 weeks out of a typical month with roller coaster BGs, and I can only try to keep up - so far no success. Sure I know I have 7 - 10 days of oddly high BGs. Then I drop and have 2 - 3 days of stupidly low BGs. That much I'm aware of - but I can't sort out a good carb to insulin ratio for either of those times because they change daily - no, hourly! I can't increase / decrease the Lantus to suit, because it takes Lantus a couple of days to show any effects from a change so I'd always be a few days behind. I have tried, but I end up with a bouncier ride. Easier to stick with my current dose of long acting and just play with the short acting insulin. Continually. You can imagine the number of test strips I go through!

I was much better off when I had no periods at all. Supposedly I'm going through early menopause, which started when I was 27 - but now I've had 6 months or so with a cycle - not regular, but nonetheless there, and no hot flushes. Perhaps it was never menopause to start with...? Or perhaps this is only a phase, my body's attempt at giving me normality before it finally takes my cycles away for good. If this is true, I'll never curse menopause again!! Diabetes is hard enough without hormones fiddling with the balance. I don't want early menopause, but I prefer it to this mess.

This is causing problems for my wish to lose one kilo before Sunday... with only one day to go, I think I'm out of luck! My week of high numbers brought on the munchies, my usual 1-2 kg weight gain from water retention (thankfully this drops off pretty fast too once it's all over), a couple of rebound lows from rage bolusing, and PMT cravings (read: home baked goodies and big blocks of chocolate disappearing without a trace!). My few days of repetitive lows have led to a lot of extra high carb munching, and a fear of exercise. This was a bad bad time to get serious about weight loss! No big deal, I'll try again once it's over.

I don't know if this is the norm for other diabetic women, or if I'm going through some weird menopausal phase, or if I'm allergic to trying to lose weight :P Whatever the case, it's been driving me nuts and I'm really glad it's nearly over!

I have wheels!

2007-09-13T11:12:00.000+12:00

It's been a long few months without a car. We survived an entire winter without. YAY us! Of course, I was able to borrow a car at least once a week, so I wasn't entirely lost :D

It was a pain, but I didn't realise it had affected me that much until I got incredibly excited about my new car! I've been buzzing since I picked it up on Tuesday afternoon.

It's SEXY! Well, it is to me. You'll understand with a little background... I've never had a 'nice' car. I've never saved up and worked for my own car. I've had old bombs that I've picked up cheap, I've had someone else's old bomb given to me (I've been SO lucky! Spoiled even.) I've had a work vehicle - just a tatty old van. And I've had a bicycle that reallllllly hurts my butt lol. But to date I've never had a car I was proud of, one that had nice things - a working stereo. Electric windows. Central Locking. Tidy body. Basic stuff to you, right? But things I've never had.

I could have had those things if I was willing to give up more of my time to working, or if I chose not to homeschool my son and spend more of my money on myself, etc. But until now, other things have always been more important. Now, I have a nice car, and I haven't had to sacrifice anything for it (except my savings!). It does help that the car was really too cheap for what it is ;)

So I'm a really happy chappy. I have, parked outside right now, one nice looking Toyota Corona - a car that gets rave reviews on the net and has a great rep for reliability - and it's MINE!

*buzz*

My promise to you... and me.

2007-09-13T11:11:00.000+12:00

OK, here it is, loud and clear, and published on the net for all to see.

I hereby promise to do my darndest to lose one kilogram by Sunday next week. That's Sunday the 23rd of September. 1kg, 10 days.

Doable... Easy in fact, 1kg is nothing... yet I don't do it. So I'm hoping that by telling the world about it, I'll be able to stick to it!

Following that kilo, maybe a few more. But for now, just the one to get me started. Small steps. One kilo at a time.

Here I go...

My New Polls

2007-08-30T11:49:00.000+12:00

(polls now closed - for a while you can view them at the bottom of the right hand side of this page)

A I mentioned in the previous post, It's a fiasco every time I call the doctor for a prescription for new meter strips.

First the phone call, which I hate every time. I deal with either the receptionist or the nurse, and I can hear both of them rolling their eyes as I once again ask for a script that allows for 8 - 12 tests a day.

Then I go in to pick up the script, which will without doubt allow for only 3 - 4 tests a day. I complain, ask for it to be re-written, and sometimes it will be, sometimes it wont. Even if I get a replacement script it will still only allow for up to 6 tests a day. I can live with 6 if I have to, but it leaves me guessing my BGs too often, and I feel SO much better (and more in control, and more free to live my life, and more free to do *anything*, etc) if I can test when I need to.

How can it be wrong to test more? Isn't it a good thing? Aren't I a good little patient for having a1cs under 7, testing at good times, keeping an eye on things and attempting to take over the roll of my pancreas?

The good news is that when I see my Endo she will write me out another script, which keeps me stocked up for when the doc wont give me enough. The bad news is that she only wants to see me once a year now because as we both know I'm controlling my own Diabetes and know what I'm doing, so one extra script a year doesn't fill up those gaps any more :(

Well this is yet another fiasco that may be coming to an end. I called the doctor to get strips a few days ago. I went in yesterday to pick up the script which yet again allowed for 3 - 4 tests a day. I left it there with the receptionist and requested an appointment. I would show the Dr the Pharmac Schedule which says a diabetic on insulin can have as many tests as they need. I would print bits out, explain my case, heck I was even willing to cry brittle diabetes if I needed too (which is bull crap... but a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do).

FINALLY the good news: The receptionist called me this morning, cancelled my appointment and said that the Dr wrote me a new script for 800 strips following a letter he got from my Endo. I don't know what she said, but I love her now :D

SO - omg I've been a little verbal on this one haven't I? So.... I was wondering how many others have trouble with this. Are you free to test as you need to? Is it a bother, or are you happily testing less? Is your doctor writing out scripts willy nilly allowing you to test as you please? Tick some boxes, and tell me all about it. Especially you NZ'ers - I wonder how common this issue is in NZ.

BTW - it seems blogger's polls don't allow for any more than a word or three per option. If you can't read what's at the end of the line, just hover over it and all will be revealed. Thanks for your votes!

The Accu-Chek Performa Meter Fiasco

2007-08-30T11:22:00.000+12:00

We were once excited about the free Performa meter Accu-Chek were sending out to all of us currently using an Advantage meter.

Then, we were a little worried as the meter didn't seem to work as we expected.

Then we discovered that the meter read in Plasma, not whole blood. All very good, but we were a little annoyed that we weren't clearly told about it. Small print isn't enough.

Then we discovered that the supposed 10 - 15% higher readings could be as far off as 10 - 60%, which is nowhere near accurate enough for a diabetic trying to survive day to day.

Roche eventually (but very casually) mentioned that the meters might not be reading as expected, and very quietly mumbled that maybe, if we wanted to, we could use our old meters for a while, only if we weren't happy, and just until they sorted out the strip / chip issue. Although these meters were often reading dangerously outside of range many people are still using them and Roche have barely tried to discourage us. Even the health professionals are confused - one person will tell you to keep using it, it's fine... the next will freak out and insist you keep well away from it until they've sorted it.

I for one was not pleased. I'm sure Roche aren't too pleased with how this turned out either! But I no longer play a part in this fiasco! YAY! I gave in to the competitors offers. I have now swapped my Performa meter for an Optium Xceed, and I'm pretty happy with that deal - At least the Xceed has a back-light! (Overseas readers may know it as the Xtra)

I'd encourage others to either do the same, or at least keep using your Advantage meter. The Performa is a recipe for trouble! Even if you're happy with the Performa, are you happy with the way Roche have dealt with the issue? I'm certainly not.

However I'd also like to note that the issue with the Performa seems to be only on some meters (which totally kills their theory of the problem being in the calibration of the strips, doesn't it?). My tests showed a variance of up to 60%, yet my friend's comparisons show a fairly well averaged 15% with only a couple of slightly 'off' readings.

Anyway, here's to my new meter and three cheers to Medica Pacifica for a brilliant deal, and what looks like a brilliant meter. I'm yet to find out, because getting a new prescription for more strips is yet another fiasco I have to go through repeatedly with my doctor, so at this point I have a lovely new meter and NO strips. How it sucks to have a new toy that you can't play with!

In memory

2007-08-30T10:21:00.001+12:00

Ted (Draggie) Chapman, passed on August 13th 2007.

A man who helped bring me out of my shell. I'll always remember him and be thankful for the times we shared.

Cheers x x x

Dammit Draggie you still owe me a song!

Hello, world

2007-08-30T02:40:00.000+12:00

Just poking my head in to say hi.

I haven't been around much - life has been, well, y'know, life. It got busy... so busy that I... oh I'm fibbing, I just got addicted to other stuff :D Like tudiabetes... and Desktop Tower Defense, and Onslaught.

And then I thought about coming back and saying hello, but you know how it is when you haven't talked to an old friend for a while... where do you start? Do I have to worry about whether I've pissed you off and forgotten about it? Or do I owe you any money?

So lets start with a clean slate, eh?

I have so many things to say, so many posts in draft that need to see the world, so many stories to tell. It's all backed up in my brain and if I don't get it all out I'm going to pop.

However, first things first - I need sleep, it's 2:45am and I've had a very long day, which I shall be sure to tell you about, along with all the others, in due time.

Prepare your eyes - serious post-a-thon coming soon.

Pick a reason, any reason...

2007-08-01T11:48:00.000+12:00

Because it's good to giggle, I thought I'd share this excellent Diabetes Forums thread with you all:

Crazy reasons why you got diabetes

It's not that bad.

2007-07-25T01:01:00.000+12:00

I've been on a bit of a downer lately. It probably shows in my lack of posting - I want to avoid miserable posts here.

The last few days I've been reminded: IT'S NOT THAT BAD!

Today, the clincher. A forum post I read, where someone asks for advice on how to tell their children that they're dying. This person has months to live, and is leaving their babies behind.

There are no words to say how horrible that must be.

As for me, I'm a single parent with insulin dependent diabetes.
My lad has his own health problems.
I don't have a lot of money.
SO?!

My life has been put in perspective.

I have me. I have my son. I have family and friends. I have adorable cats, a great house, and most of my health.

I'm getting on with life, beating the challenges, and moving on. What on earth do I have to complain about?

People take too many things for granted. I take too many things for granted. Tomorrow I'm going to have fun with my son, and relish the little things in life.

Here's to life, and all of it's weirdness. One day at a time, I'm going to make my way to the end of it. Dammit, I want to look back on my life with a smile on my face. Why waste time worrying about what's going wrong?

IT'S NOT THAT BAD!!

499 and counting!

2007-07-23T23:26:00.000+12:00

499 members as at 11:20pm, Monday 23-7-2007 (NZ time). One to go...

Congrats to Manny & Andreina for making tudiabetes a great site! And to all the wonderful people who use it and keep it a great site :)

One of THOSE days and one of THOSE days.

2007-07-14T23:21:00.000+12:00

Post deleted - too depressing & whiney and that's just not what I want here!

But I'll leave this bit:
You know what really made my day? I discovered videojug and most importantly, tips on how to use the toilet. You'll thank me for it later, I'm sure.

I'd hate to think that some of you found the link ever-so-handy and here's me deleting it. Oh no, that'll never do.

And if you read the post before I snipped it, you'll be pleased to know I'm having lots of fun hand-washing all my clothes today, and causing no floods lol.

Parental guidence recommended...

2007-07-14T22:20:00.000+12:00

Apparently this blog is rated PG because it contains the words "death", "dead", and "crap". My most humble apologies to your children :Þ

(btw if you want to rate your own blog, click on the above. If you want to kill the online dating advertising that it tries to take with it, just delete the line in the code (at the end) that has the mingle2 online dating stuff.)

This thingywotsit pinched from 'moments of wonderful'

Washboard stomach, please!

2007-07-13T11:50:00.000+12:00

Ahh don't we all wish it was this easy?

Performa AGAIN

2007-07-07T14:32:00.000+12:00

We're getting there, kiwis!

Roche have put out a press release regarding the Performa. There are small notices of gentle warning popping up across the internet. There was even an article in the papers and in the radio news, which let people know of the higher readings, and warned them to use a different meter. Good!

I wanted to choke when I read that the adjustment will be about 6 - 10% - anyone who's read my posts about the Performa can see the difference is much larger than that (and inconsistent, which is the bigger worry). But I am glad they're moving along and dealing to the problem.

Still waiting for my letter... Still waiting to see anything obvious that means ALL diabetics with the new Performa will have the knowledge. So far, there are still thousands of people unaware of the problem.

I wont go on, as my dear friend & fellow diabetic kiwi has already summed it up on his blog if you'd like to read more.

I see dead p - I mean, I see BG numbers

2007-07-07T13:58:00.000+12:00

Everywhere I look I see numbers that remind me of testing blood sugars.

The other day I saw a car with the licence plate 'BGL 152' or something similar - which I can't help but read as Blood Glucose Level: 15.2

Suddenly I find myself thinking: Yikes, bit high, better reach for the insulin...

DUH.

To the right you see my digital thermometer - it's been sitting on my kitchen window sill for MONTHS, but I still see BG results, not temperatures!

It's the same with the time on the microwave, the seconds left before a bomb explodes on a movie, etc etc etc. It seems that all numbers belong in the BG reading compartment of my brain now!

The temperature you see there is what it's reading right this moment. A gorgeously sunny day, but still winter, and damned cold. Brrrr. 9 degrees is the highest we'll see today. And yet out in my garden I have spring flowers starting to bloom:

Months too early, but I wont complain! Certainly helps to make winter feel better :)

For curiosity's sake (and because I like playing with blogger's new toys) I've put a poll up there ----->
I want to edit it but it wont let me because there are two votes already. Instead of deleting it and starting again, I hope you'll understand that I missed out the words 'on MDI' (tho I'm sure it's obvious). Go, tick boxes!

BTW... having just testing at 2.7, I'm surprised any of this post makes sense... *stuffs food in mouth*

The Performa BG meter - Not to be trusted

2007-06-28T22:34:00.000+12:00

You may have read my review of the Performa Meter from May 23rd.

Perhaps you read the follow up RTFM a bit later, where I wondered about the high readings I was getting from the Performa.

Here's part three: Why the Performa meter needs to be PUT AWAY and forgotten about until Roche have things sorted out! (For people in New Zealand only)

The roll-out of the new Performa meters was messy from the beginning. To start with, a country accustomed to seeing whole blood BG readings was given a meter that measures blood plasma - without warning. Only those of us who read the small print, and knew what to make of it, understood that we'd be in for a different set of readings.

It took a while for anything to happen with that, but slowly more and more people got curious about their wacky readings and the word spread. We eventually had a letter sent out to us (see here) - which should have been included in all the original packaging with the meter, if you ask me, but late is better than not at all.

Then there was the realisation that there was more to it. Many people have noticed a 'sloppiness' to the readings. If they were fairly regularly around 11% higher, as they should be for the plasma readings, that would be fine - we'd just need some mental maths and some time to get used to it. But the Performa is all over the place, and generally TOO high. You can imagine how dangerous this could be for an insulin dependent diabetic who judges their insulin doses by their readings.

There's unrest in the NZ diabetic community! People are worried - and I can't blame them. It worried me, too!

I've done some side by side tests in the last few days. Keeping both meters in the same place (to keep the same temperature), using the same drop of blood to fill both strips within seconds of each other. The results scare me - especially when my Advantage says I'm low (and I FEEL low) and the Performa says I'm ok.

Let me show you...

First, what the difference SHOULD look like.

And now, the rather larger gap between the actual readings on my two meters:

And now some figures:

Difference	% difference
1.2		28.6
2.4		57.1
1.9		24.4
2		37
2.5		47.2
1.9		30.2
1.9		29.7
1.1		33.3
3.1		57.4
1.3		41.9

Difference states the gap (in mmol) between the two meters.
% difference is how much higher the Performa reading is compared to the Advantage reading, as a percentage. (Remember it's meant to be approx 11%)

Now let me state right here that I'm not a scientist, nor a mathematician, and these comparisons were all done in a home setting by me - someone who has two meters and experience as a diabetic. Not a professional in any way.

And then let me state: Oh my gawd! I see nothing like 11% in those figures. Two of them are over 50% higher. Yikes!

Statement #3 - no it's not normal for me to have lows like that ;)

Rumour has it that they've stopped rolling out the Performa meter while they wait for experts to come out from Roche in Switzerland. This dud-reading issue is apparently happening ONLY in NZ So it's suspected that the issue is actually in the strips, not the meter itself.

I wonder if some damage is done already? How many diabetics in New Zealand have gone for a drive, thinking that their reading is 5.5 (perfect!) when really it's 3.9 and dropping? Even without the more dangerous situations, we're having trouble in our jobs, our sleep, and our day to day life, because of something as simple as a BG meter - the thing that is meant to help us live a normal life!

And what of the people who already have their Performa meters? Are they to be warned?

While we’re waiting to find out what’s going on, please - if you live in NZ and have the Performa meter, be careful. If possible, hang on to your old meter and stick with that until the problem is sorted. Buy another one if you have to – you need to be aware of your blood sugar results, and the Performa is not about to help you make good decisions in your treatment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UPDATE: Whadaya know! FINALLY the issue is noticed. Read what the NZSSD (New Zealand Society for the Study of Diabetes) have to say about the Performa meter.

It’s official now… Don’t pick up that meter! Get strips for whatever other meter you have on hand.

Ooh Roche, I don’t envy you, this has been one expensive experience for you… and risky. I only hope no one has seriously overdone the insulin because of a reading from that meter.

Turn it OFF!

2007-06-25T12:44:00.000+12:00

ONE HOUR NO POWER

At midday on Sunday July 1st 2007 we are asking everyone concerned about the effects of climate change to simply turn everything (non-vital) off for an hour.

Another idea for us to increase awareness, save the world (hey, small steps make all the difference), and get off our butts for a while.

Can you go one hour without power? It seems like such a small thing, but no computer, no kettle, no oven, no electric heaters, no stereo, no car, no television etc.

It's only one hour... Rediscover card games, go for a walk, play with the kids (or the neighbours dog, or the old guy round the corner, or the cats toys...) read a book or have a good chat face to face (no email! haha!).

Tagged

2007-06-25T12:33:00.000+12:00

Since I decided to stay away from memes for a while and only write about real stuff, this is obviously not a meme. OK?

I've been tagged by Trunkles - a list of 10 random thingymajiggies you probably didn't know about me.

1: I can wiggle my ears. Only sometimes, and only when I'm not laughing or smiling.

2: I was vegetarian for years. I still dislike the idea of eating animals, but I'll do it. There's a whole inner turmoil thing going on there.

3: I always - and I mean always - have a song going on in my head. Plus 17 other things of course... but the song really gets me. It's often a song I don't like! It's sometimes a song I don't know well enough to fill in the correct words or beats. It's always distracting :( That's one of the reasons why I don't like to have the radio on in the background when I'm doing anything - I have enough distractions going on inside my thoughts without anything extra needing to be added!

4: I write notes. Lots of them. Lists, reminders, letters to myself, stuff I want to remember... they're everywhere. My computer desk is covered in them, and I have a whiteboard - to save paper use - but barely ever use it.

5: I once worked as a waitress for an Indian Restaurant. $50 a night under the table... No training. I had no idea what the stuff on the menu was or what I should do, but I managed to fumble my way through it. I quit after my second night on the job...

6: I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I suppose some day I will grow up, and then I'll decide. For now I'll enjoy just being me and doing whatever happens to grab my attention at the time!

7: I've never touched drugs. Never smoked wacky baccy or injected anything or taken anything that wasn't prescribed for my health. For years I even refused most medications and didn't take any pain meds unless I was really seriously in need. Funny now, because I'm on 6 - 8 injections a day, at least 2 pills normally 3, and the occasional vitamin. Times are changing.

8: I have a stationery fetish. I collect paper, pens, rulers, envelopes, exercise books, scissors, tape etc. My computer desk drawer is full to the brim, so is my son's, and my filing cabinet has a draw just for little pads & stickers etc, and there's still a large box we haven't unpacked full of other bits... hasn't been opened since we moved here over a year ago! When I found that I realised I'd overdone it. Since most of my writing is done on a keyboard these days, I can stop buying paper & pens now!

9: I can read and write backwards if I want to. I have entire diaries from my younger years written backwards. I used to think more creatively that way, so most of my poems & songs & stories were written backwards too. I'm not dyslexic or anything, it's just something I can do at will. A skill? Not sure about that, but still, something to fill up number 9 here, which I was having trouble doing. Oh my gawd, I still gotta come up with one more. OK...

10: I have ADD. That's Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, without the visible hyperactivity. (For ADD'ers the hyperactivity is only in the brain and not obvious in the behaviour. They're often quiet people because there's so much activity going on their minds they have trouble keeping up with conversations and paying attention to people/things). I don't advertise that fact, mainly because most people don't understand it and are running on misconceptions (like the biggest one - that there's no such thing, it's all about food colouring or bad parenting or whatever. Bull crap... there's a stuff up in the brain chemicals. ADHD is VERY real, and it SUCKS.)

Numbers 3, 4, 6 and 8 are probably because of 10!

How to play:
Once you have been tagged, write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts or habits about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Leave them the comment 'You're It' and to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you.

I think tagging 10 people is a little excessive - if I do that then in about half an hour this thing is already done by everyone! So I choose to not tag anyone, coz I'm a spoil sport, and because I know a lot of you have already done stuff like this, and finally because if you want it, you can pinch it!

On the road again

2007-06-23T18:02:00.000+12:00

My son spent Thursday night with his Nana and Grandpa. I dropped him off, I came home and did nothing much, then I went to my friend's and did nothing much, and then I picked kiddo up again. Wow. Thrilling eh? It's not so bad having nothing to do - at least I had my parenting responsibilities taken off me for a while. Still, I reckon I should have arranged some thrilling naughtiness for the night!

On Thursday I drove back home in a thunderstorm - that was pretty cool! Bit scary when the rain got so heavy that I could hardly see, but still a nice drive. On Friday as I drove down to pick him again, it was BEAUTIFUL weather. Winter? Really? But after staying at Mum's for a few hours and driving back again, It was shirty again. Some days I think it's true that New Zealand can have four seasons in one day.

There are road works EVERYWHERE! It must be budget time for the road works chaps. Little orange cones all over the roads - and I mean that literally. Those things are heavy, but the wind we've had lately has been heavier, so the roads were a mess of rubbish, leaves, road cones and temporary barriers that had scattered.

I wonder if there's something about working on roads that kills the workers' brain cells? It seems just about every time I make that drive there's something silly. This time it was the speed limit signs on Centennial Highway alongside the ocean. It's been silly for a while with the temporary 80km/h speed limit signs - is it REALLY temporary when they've been there for what, 2 - 3 years now? But Thursday was sillier.

As I get close to where the road meets the ocean front, I see the sign on the left hand side of the road that warn me of an impending 70km/h area, a slower bit so that we don't run over innocent road workers and leave messy squished guys on their tidy new road. Ok. Sweet. I can handle that. Then I look to the right - directly opposite the 70 sign, there's a warning of a 30 km/h area. Hmmmmk. Not sure which speed I'm going to be slowing down to, so I keep my eyes open. A few seconds later it all becomes clear. They're nuts. There's a 50 sign. BAH! Warning, 70 coming! Oh wait, might be 30! Hahaha fooled you, you can go 50! Ahh shudduppayourface :P

On Friday, as I drive the same roads again, I watch out for the signs. Some smart bugger has changed them :) Now both signs on the left and right say there's a 50k speed change ahead! Great - and as I get to where the speed actually changes, the sign now says 70. Riiiiiiiight.

________________________

This is really just an excuse to play with bloggers beta video embedding thingyamywotsit... but here's a vid I took on the drive down. It shows road works, beautiful sunshine, a wintery wild ocean and speed limit signs, and seemed relevant to today's post:

Wasn't that EXCITING!

Also shows that I listen to a lot of old music on the radio when I'm driving :D
(It was hard for me to call that old... To me the oldies are from the 60s or 70s, but the times, they are a changin', and all those songs I grew up with are now - omg - oldies. Shocking.)

________________________

Have you pressed the big red button yet? You really mustn't. Really. It'd just be rude to press it when it tells you not to. That's why I never touched it, have no idea what it does, and wouldn't dream of putting you through the same thing :D

You KNOW you want to :)

2007-06-23T01:30:00.000+12:00

Put The Big Red Button on your site

Me in triplicate

2007-06-21T13:23:00.000+12:00

I've got a couple of posts in draft here, waiting for me to finish / fine tune... but I'm having one of THOSE days. Nay, weeks. Nothing feels quite right and nothing is getting finished (not much is getting started either, to be honest...)

So I'll take the easy road today and accept Kerri's tag to everyone for a meme:

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. M or Em
2. Mum
3. Emmie or Emmie-Lou (and no, my real name isn't Emmie!)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My fingernails - everyone else wants them, they look like they've been french manicured all the time and yet I never care for my nails at all. I'm not sure I actually *like* them, but they're something other people seem to feel I should be proud of... and I am proud of the fact that I gave up biting my nails (over a decade ago!) and can actually grow any kind of nails at all.
2. My eyes - I have perfect eyesight - which is a relief as a diabetic - and people have said I have nice eyes...
3. My hair - sort of. I have a love/hate relationship with it. It's always too long, too short, too blonde, too dark... the only thing that stays the same is how fine it is, impossible to style! (oops I'm talking about the positives here aren't I!). I like that it can look different from day to day without me having to dye it (seriously, my hair colour changes with the seasons, and with different shampoos, etc!) I have wild hair and I'll probably always hate it, and love it at the same time. Tempting to have it shaved off though!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My teeth. They're ugly, they stain too easily, and I feel like I have fangs. My jaw doesn't line up properly so there's never any comfortable place to rest my mouth. I get sore face muscles and sometimes it goes all around my head leading to headaches etc, simply because my jaw can't rest comfortably in any position.
2. My belly. I've always had a slightly sticky-outty belly, as a lot of women do, but since diabetes hit me I look like I'm 14 months pregnant. Perhaps a slight exaggeration?! Still, I hate it. It's the last bit of me to lose weight and the first bit to gain. Hurumph.
3. Bruises... I'm always covered in them. I bruise so easily. Doesn't help that I'm sticking needles in myself many times a day!

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
I don't really know... I've heard mumbles about some Welsh & Irish ancestry, and definitely English. There may be a pinch of Maori somewhere on my father's side but we're not sure... There could be French, well, there could be anything.
I'm more of a here & now person. It's interesting to hear about the past but I'm more interested in where I am now and where I'm going tomorrow.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Having a bad hypo - especially in a public place. Especially if I'm around people who wouldn't know what to do, and most especially, if I'm out at a pub or somewhere where people are drinking and may assume I've just had one too many and leave me in a corner to sleep it off. Eek.
2. Diabetes complications.
3. Bad drivers, especially those who think they drive well and blame all those near-misses on other people.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. My two insulins, Lantus & Novorapid. I wouldn't be here without them!
2. My Blood sugar meter, without that I'd never know how much to eat or jab and wouldn't have a hope of fine-tuning my BGs day to day and getting good a1c results.
3. My computer - my link to the outside world, my connection to other diabetics, friends who live far away, people who understand me and people that don't care whether they understand me or not!

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Big fluffy slippers
2. Big fluffy jacket
3. Two singlet tops for extra warmth :)

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICALS:
None.

THREE OF YOUR [current] FAVOURITE SONGS:
1. Mika - That 'Don't you like me' song (Grace Kelly??). Totally upbeat and happy and funky. Groovy :D
2. All the songs on the Maroon 5 'Songs About Jane' CD which I've wanted since it came out, but for some reason, never bought! A friend bought it for me last week and I'm loving it :)
3. It's hard to name just a song! I like lots from my Rob Thomas CD, I still love Bernard Fanning, and I'm a fan of a lot of oldies. Janis Joplin rocks my socks off when I need something loud & bluesy. Ah, I'm a music person, I love it all!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Honesty. Honesty! HONESTY!!
2. Great conversation, and a willingness to ask questions and listen so we can avoid misunderstandings.
3. Fun!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS THAT YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE:
1. A big bright relaxed smile
2. I find myself attracted to men's backs, of all places...
3. Hands. I'm not sure *what* about hands, but I like hands. Small, large, tanned, scrawny... I dunno, just something about hands. Haven't figured out what the key thing is yet!

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
1. Writing: blogging, writing emails or letters, whatever - I just love it when my thoughts work on paper (because I have trouble making them come out as I want them to when I'm talking!)
2. Net surfing. From blogs to articles to chat & forums, I love the people contact and the wide variety of ideas & opinions. Although there's less depth to people on the net - like a lack of body language and the ability to pretend you're someone different - there's also MORE depth as we don't get to judge by our usual first impressions, and sometimes people are more blunt, more honest, and easier to figure out.
3. Reading. I can get lost in a good story for hours. Especially funny/weird stuff that doesn't have a lot to do with reality.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go on holiday, alone, somewhere warm. Leave the parenting behind (I don't really want to leave my son behind... just the job of parenting, if you get what I mean? I need a break from responsibilities, and from worrying about his health, and trying to deal with it all while staying on top of my own health). I would love to be able to turn off my life for a while and get a break as ME, not mum, not the diabetic, not the friend or sister or daughter. A day or two (or 47) to call my own and discover what life would be like if I only had to worry about which beach to tan at!
2. Driving. I'm meant to be on my way to my mother's house right now, but my son isn't ready and I'm going mad slowly waiting.
3. Go for a run. I've been imagining myself as a fitness fanatic for the last few months! I've NEVER gone for a run though.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. I'd like to win the craziest patient award at the nearest psychiatric hospital. :P
2. Mad cat lady
3. Eccentric author, incorporating mad cat lady and insane person in one, while making money!
... Sorry, but I never did figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. In fact, I never wanted to grow up!

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. England. I adore those accents.
2. The world... a little bit here, a little bit there, just soak up culture, meet new people, and be free for a few months.
3. All over New Zealand. I've travelled a bit here, and I love the freedom of jumping in a van with everything and driving anywhere.

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
HAH! I had a hard enough time coming up with a name for my son! It took me the whole nine months and even then I wasn't entirely happy with my choice!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. See my son as a grown man, hopefully with kids because I'd LOVE to be a Nana.
2. See a cure for diabetes? I'm not sure... I guess I want it, but wow, the change involved! And I bet I'd mourn for D, even though I hate it. I don't hold much hope of seeing that cure, so it's not something I think about much.
3. Figure out who I am! Live life to the fullest, and give up worrying about the little things.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. I love Bridget Jones' Diary and feel like I could be her.
2. I like to talk for hours about everything and anything, including the stuff no one likes to talk about.
3. I'm too critical of myself.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I burp with the best of them.
2. I like beer & dislike wine & cocktails.
3. I like learning about how things work. I pulled an engine apart when I was about 8... used to make all sorts of things with electronics, and I still fiddle with engines & computers etc now. (Although these days I look at a car engine and get totally lost! OMG look at all those WIRES!)

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
This is hard... I have no crushes on any celebs, but guys I might sorta fancy if they were actually nice chaps and were an option for a date:
1. Bruce Willis
2. Peter Gabriel
3. um...

Being 'M'

WDD - In my little finger

Dear blogtastic blogerific blog-angels

Feeling Judged

Dreaming of a CGMS

Yippee Skippeeeeee

Holy *bleeep*

Filling in the gaps

An Engineer's Guide to Cats

The kitties, 7 months on

The spring buzz

It's all gone wonky!

So, how DO you confuse an idiot?

You DORK!!

Revenge of the Killer Carbs... they're out to get you!

Getting all gooey

The world is just awesome

Every-bloomin'-time!

Little meows and BIG meows =^..^=

A visit to my future

nom nom nom

Bath time for kitties

I can BREATHE!

Purrrrrfect

A packet of barbecue flavoured rice crackers.

Reason number 157 NOT to do the housework:

A good find, and a favour to ask you...

Pretty piccies

Take a moment... watch this... what a woman.

A day in the life of a Type 1 Diabetic - my raised voice

M needs... for T1D's to RAISE YOUR VOICE!

Need a kitten fix?

On Wednesday, I was a mountain...

bowled for six

When kittens pee

Wash my feathered mouth out with soap...

Match it for Pratchett

One person's rubbish is another's life saving treasure

My cats nest

Looking for Mr Upstairs

Sorry about that...

A question for you all

Changes

Hyperactive kittens

Happy one month birthday, kitties!

Low blood sugar blues

Could you say no to this face?

O great mumble, I applaud thee

Mumble bloomin' grumble bloomin' moan.

Close up kitties

I have mail!

February fluffiness

HOW nerdy?

Sussing out my sassy sussy, sis!

A kitten's first adventure

Poking holes in fingers and thoughts

Kittens, 13 days old, and omg adorable!

One for Kelly K

8 days old - getting cuter by the day :)

5 days old

4 day old kittens

Yes, it's all about the kittens, again.

kittens day 2

K I T T E N S ! !

Noodle and other edible cat names

Stuff happens.

Scooping up the latest meme... my life in pictures:

Hey welcome to my new place, take a look around...

A bit of America in little old New Zealand

My house is a zoo!

P'ram Beach sunset part 2

Paraparaumu Beach... and why I love it.

Christmas Madness

I've gone belly-up and had a belly-full.

Eh won see

One unit

Short & sweet - well, not so short - and sugar-free sweet, of course.

Parents will love this!

Move into my street!

hehehehe.. time to play

Holy bleeep